Words frm The Heart

2011-09-16T00:20:00.002+08:00

Even he noticed that something is amiss becoz I could not give him a proper answer other than " erm they shd b fine " when he asked "how are they?" Beats me too on why we haven't met for abt almost a month. Busy schedules..personal issues..I dont know..good or bad life goes on. And how does a countdown go again 4-3-2-1!!

2011-09-09T00:42:00.002+08:00

Someone please wake me up when December ends bcoz..

2011-08-07T21:05:00.002+08:00

One of the greatest music composer said recently during a music awards ceremony that coming to terms with death is one of the major obstacles in life we have to deal with. Somehow, we can better handle a failure, victory, success and loss as compared to grieving over the loss of your loved one. Agree with his words.

I feel i did not do anything wrong and i don't deserve such words. Amazing how someone you know for a short time can screw up your day just before you begin a new semester of a new academic year. I can handle what you told a few days ago but not just what you said. At the same time, I feel I dont owe you explanations of any sort. Totally not my fault if you had just realised that you gt deleted. Just like how my friends don't have the right to judge you, you too too dont have the right to say anything about them. I did not want things to end in such a ugly manner. One fine day, you will know the truth and when you do so I won't be there. My conscience is clear and GOD knows everything.

"This guilt trip that you put me on won't, mess me up I've done no wrong"

2011-06-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

Wall's up, made sure
I guarded my heart
And I promise I wouldn't do this till
I knew it was right for me

2011-05-28T20:42:00.002+08:00

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

She brought him up with so much love, in fact more love than she had for me, He always had the best things in life in terms of education opportunities etc. She was so particular about how things had to be done for him from the food, to his clothes to everything la. And today she was crying, a side of her that I had not seen from the day I know her, and all he did was to pack all his things, by all I mean literally everything without feeling any sense of remorsefulness at all.

I don't know what to do. I just don't know...

2011-05-26T22:23:00.002+08:00

They say that exams bring out the best and worst in you. In my case worst would be a understatement. Never felt this low before in my life before. Each time I console myself by telling that I’ve experienced far worse things before and then before I know it I’m hit with another wave of events which was worse than the preceding one.

It wasn’t an easy journey; my life was a living hell and still is. I don’t feel safe at home with all the gossips going around. Love and affection and acts of kindness all seem so fake to me. I learnt that the ones who love you the most will be the ones who hurt you the most. I wish I did not hear those words. I am so afraid to ask for anything or do anything with them because it will backfire against me during an argument.

I don’t feel that Ive erred in telling them about how I felt. And Indians being Indians simple love to be so typical and associate such events with unnecessary crap. Stress does not equate to spiritual possession!At the end of the day I feel like they don’t care about my well being and are only bothered about their reputation and the humiliation.

Our entire life entails many major decision making process right from the day we were born, from the shampoo we decide to use, to the shoe we decide to buy, to the degree we want to pursue, to the guy we want to live with the rest of our lives. Oh boy the list can simply go on and on. Decisions are not just based on simply right and wrong. Unfortunately things are way more complicated than that.

Recently I had to choose between my immediate family (which happens to consist of only mum and dad now) and my extended family (which includes my grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins etc). Anyone who knows me close enough will know that my cousins mean the world to me as I rank them with equal importance as given to some of my close friends. It was a bloody tough decision to make even though no pressure was exerted. All these because of a bloody idiot’s stupidity and immaturity of failing to think of the consequences his little sister have to face all in the name of the word “love”. I have no idea how to go about pretending as if nothing has happened. How do I ignore the rest and what to do if I were to see them across the street? To ignore or to smile. One moment I’m happily surrounded with them, the next moment I have to come to terms with their deletion. Highly freaking unfair and I feel I don’t deserve this.

There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever ~ Greys Anatomy

I can totally relate to the above. So much that now I am suffering from organ damage.Ha Ha just kidding.

So now they are left with me. I feel so lonely that I have to support them all by my own. All the more useless and disappointed when the fate of my results is a big question mark. The question mark keeps hovering and auto enlarges its size as days pass by. As if they have not gone through enough, I don’t want them to handle a situation where there is a going to be a extremely likely situation of me failing one paper. Oh god, I know I’m asking for a miracle. Just a pass or a clearance of that paper will do, that’s all. They will not be able to handle bad news one after another. I too will not be able to take it. I already feel so broken up and I too can’t handle it anymore. Even now I’m trying to make myself numb and trying my very best to concentrate for special semester. My energy was exhausted long long ago. I laugh and smile outside, but inside I ache so much and cry so hard until there aren’t any more tears left.

In a few days, we’ll continue this journey of life as a family of 3, Through thick and thin we have to stand by each other no matter what and battle the odds, not sure about how many days Im left with on earth, but rest assured that i’ll stick by your side always till death do us apart.

2011-04-17T00:22:00.009+08:00

" Ladies, he was never a waste of your time. he was just the harsh realization that you can do better"

True enough, he wasn't a waste of my time, he was just the harsh realization that I can do better. Better in what? I have yet to figure out an answer for that. For now, I shall drown myself in my avalanche of reports, tutorials and most importantly

in the exam preparations. Life is just so miserable in Uni that I wish I could grab a quick getaway almost every weekend.

" Life has a way of teaching us lessons we didn't necessary want to learn and giving us tests we never planned to take "

And at times of such,the only thing that matters to me are the ones by my side. I wish i had them by my side always though. But that may also deemed to be selfish.This is what happens when...On a happier note I was dying to watch Source Code to get away from all the lonely "hor-fun" feelings. A fren of mine asked if I wanted to do so on a Monday and I immediately replied NO without thinking. I regret that of course after considering abt how kind a gesture it was actually. Oh well, the things we ppl do without thinking.I owe this friend a lot because he always knows the right things to say at the right time. It takes _ years of friendship to develop that kind of a relationship.And I'm glad to have known you for all these years and never have I regretted one single day about that. The cards and

the msgs written in it brings back so many fond memories.

Dear god, PLS take care of mum and dad for the next 2 weeks. I dont have a good feeling about this. It's never been like this before as I have survived without seeing atleast one of them for months and years. I cant survive without them and i know they cant too. The 3 sms'es I have received so far from a person who takes ages to type one msg mean a lot to me. Please gimme all the strength I need to survive the next few weeks of school till the 19th of May

2011-01-14T19:50:00.002+08:00

"If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting; which can be anything from your house to bitter old resentments and set out on a truth seeking journey either externally or internally, and if you're truely willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you're prepared most of all to face n forgive some very difficult realties about yourself,then the truth will not be withheld from you." - From the movie Eat, Pray, Love

I wish that one day, I too can set out on my own truth seeking journey and learn more about myself.

4 more days to be alive. Argh!

2011-01-01T21:24:00.002+08:00

To sum it all up...

the past few months before the year ended was full of everything; the good, bad and ugly. Right now, I feel like I'm amidst a hiatus. And I cant seem to pick myself up from here. The pieces are plenty and my heart aches so much whenever I try so hard to remain strong but to no avail. I guess many questions will be answered on the 18th I think.

And I really hope and pray so hard that things will get better in the days to come.

Happy New Year peeps

2010-08-23T22:35:00.004+08:00

My bro is being a monkey coz he’s not allowing me to use the internet connection as he’s watching soccer online. Blueks. As far as Soccer is concerned, I don’t really watch soccer match after the World cup ends. But then I managed to catch the cubs playing against Montenegro. I am quite glad that I actually did watch the match otherwise I would not have known that they are actually quite a skilful and promising bunch.

I am not sure how does the ST MYB seem to be always featuring a health issue that is so freakishly closely related to me. Worst still, it’s been a weekly affair ever since I first started reading it. It feels as if they are keeping tabs on me. Ok, I know that sounds overrated. Pardon me, my brain tumour has been acting up these days and it has also been adversely affecting my train of thoughts on a regular basis. Actually the weekly highlights of my health issues never fail to constantly remind me about how unhealthy I have become over the years. Atleast now I’ve learnt not to mock at my MI NS like PE regime.

Sometimes, I think i think too much. Especially with regards to my school which will begin in about a weeks time. I have been so anxious about it that I cant sleep at night. I actually took a long while to figure that out. My timetable will be released in a few days time. And I’m still clueless about my exemptions, bidding information etc. It would help to a great extent if my fellow coursemate/s share the same anxiety with me. Atleast I will know that I am not alone in this journey. But I guess people are busy with their own things so much so that they take days to reply a msg or worst still dun reply at all or worst still surface up like once in a while. Hmm I don’t do MIAness. Back to the sleepless nights...since I fall asleep when the sun rises, I only wake up only in the late afternoon. Such a routine is perfect for someone who is fasting. I know this is bad and this habit is going to create some serious form of trouble for me when I start school. Nevertheless I shall try to survive and persevere. Of course my main worrying issue will be as of how I am going to survive this long journey of 4 years in a local uni. You cant really blame me because, I have not heard any pleasant stories about the academic journey being pursued locally .Sadly I lack motivation because of many reasons. I hope and I really pray hard that I will survive in this leg and I will promise to give my all for this to end in a way I want it.

So you work your way up and you reach a point and you are happy with it. And then these familiar faces come and they kinda remind you of the past complications you had mainly due to the political...erm turmoil that these people created. As much as you run away from it/ them all they always come back to haunt you. Kinda fits the hungry ghost festival ghosts lol. Jus kidding.

So ever since, I stopped working at DOS, i haven’tbeen up to anything much lately.

I went to the USS and had lots of fun.

I caught a couple of movies. I managed to catch up on some of my favourite drama serials. I have got a secret wish to catch all seasons of CSI MIAMI, but then I think that is not possible with so little time left. For the first time in my life, I manage to get quite close to the NDP action.

My Mum thinks that i might be possessed, because I cant get myself to sleep at night, although i am physically tired and drained. It’s a helpless and painful feeling for me. And at times of such I feel like a drug addict, who just cant sleep. That is very sad.

And yes finally the router is connected and I dun need to use the net connection like a refugee or tap from others illegally. yay!

2010-07-29T23:17:00.002+08:00

I'll never let you go, so never let me go. I will be your journey and you will be my road.

And so no matter what happens I am not going to let you go, coz u surprise me .UNLESS...well we'll see how things go.

NTU is such a )(*& place to navigate through. Mouse and I spend half an hour at a bus stop missing 4 shuttle service buses only to realise at the end that, no SBS buses actually passes by that stop. Classic i tell you. In fact i was so proud of maself that i managed to find a bus stop that was located near Student Services building, given that previously i had to walk down like 3km to reach a bus stop. It's okay each time i discover new buildings and new routes. Atleast now i know that Buisness sch canteen sells bubble tea. It was an excellent idea to invest on one before figuring out way to the buisness office.And i look forward to more squabbles wif ma mouse for the next 4 years.

2010-07-07T15:58:00.002+08:00

This goes out to a particular fren of mine, whom i and my L partner ( sounds so wrong i know) think that he's changed ever since he's gotten in2 his new relationship.

" It's hard to watch people change. But the WORST part is remembering who they used to be "

Anyways we wish him all the best as we let the go off the kite string for good, i hope.

PS : I swear i bought the Germany jacket for its design.

2010-06-30T16:53:00.002+08:00

My horoscope for tdae reads :

Hastiness is the keyword for today, priyalatha. You might hear news that could cause you to doubt the sincerity of someone you know - perhaps a colleague or casual friend. You might tend to jump to conclusions about this person and work yourself up into an angry state. It's best to check out the facts before getting yourself all worked up, it could be all for nothing. Take care to think before you act!

But im not satisfied yet.
Becoz unless u tell me the whole story,
Im going to take it as ....
Anyways im not going 2 force
Coz its exhausting
And jus remember
the sharing is a 2 way process.
So im going 2 keep quiet.
And from now on I CBB.

2010-06-22T15:26:00.002+08:00

I have to admit that i do declare my own breaks daily.But looks like I wont be able to do that anymore since one of the supervisors came over to make an announcement saying that if we are leaving the office for breaks we have to inform them. And that if we are leaving the office to grab a coffee we have to be back in 5 mins. The last i checked I was working in a proper corporate company and not a primary/secondary school. The 5 mins timing is obviously too short becoz the waiting time for the lift and then the security clearance itself takes about 4 mins...so yea. Thank God Im leaving this place soon with approximately 3 weeks left. But its gonna be extremely irritating to be confined within my desktop in such a freezing environment from 830 to 6. My suthu wont b able to take it..I bet!

Sometimes I wonder, if I ever cross your mind even once in a day.

All I need is a sign; good or bad I promise that I'll be able to accept it wholeheartedly.

I love u too Rev & Sha. The cosy car rides are unbeatable. And yes if i slip into a coma I dun need a hayabusa, you guys know what i need..But then eh...wad's the colour of ur car and the plate no ah...I FORGOT...oh oh...:p

2010-06-15T13:30:00.001+08:00

Today is a very important day for you, priyalatha. For a few months now, some profound changes have been going on inside of you. If you want to continue in this personal development, it's time to choose a new direction for your life. Because, if you don't, someone else may do it for you! Take control of your life, you have all the strength you need now.

Okie point noted.

2010-06-08T14:54:00.002+08:00

OH MAN! There is 3 more hrs to go..i think ill be bored to death by then. Im sleepy and i cant wait to get home.Work is getting boring. Cant wait for Jul 3rd/ Jul 4th.

Having dailamo with regards 2 attending kyky's singing competition finals. Wld love to go and support him but bro refuses to tag along coz there's a Argentina match at 10pm and given the distance we have to travel we definitely wont be able to make it back in time.So yea donno.

Weekdays are exhausting and weekends are exhausting too. Ive given up writing a tamil poem for daddy's day becoz my tamil is in CMI state.

Out of 10 applicants. Im the only indian applicant vs with 9 other chinese applicants. I have a strong feeling my chances are ultra slim. But my parents think otherwise. They seem to be more proud about my gpa than I am. To me its quite disgusting.lol. We'll see if we can hear some good news from them.

So in total, im expecting for 2 news. Meanwhile im thinking of sleeping next to my mailbox till then.

The editing supervisors always have smth to update their editors but nt my VQ supervisor. Hmmm.

2010-06-02T16:25:00.002+08:00

U dun smile at me, i wun smile at u too;
U dun talk 2 me, i wun talk to u too;
U dun reply my msgs, i wun reply urs too;
U dun call, i wun call u too;
U dun share anything, i am nt gna share anything too;
U bitch abt me, i bitch abt u too;
And if u dun care...I cant be bothered abt u too.

un perai sollum {HQ Quality]

2010-05-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

I am so in love with this song...and i kinda discovering it aft months of its release..

2010-05-24T19:44:00.002+08:00

wee, im at e airport nw waiting for daddu love to arrive from his trip. yes i am exhausted but im going to pretend im not. Rightfully, im supposed to be tweeting about this, but then ive yet to open an account lol. Shall do it as soon as i get the time.

By the way, im so proud of myself coz ive survived like for more than a month at work. A great miracle because i dont do office hours, and i hate desk bound jobs. But then again, the more u refuse something, the more it comes back to u.

Loads of funny things happening at office.Enjoying the great company arnd me and definitely learning new things every day.

For now, i cant wait for the long weekend up ahead

2010-05-23T20:16:00.003+08:00

No matter how thick skinned we try to be; There is millions of electrified nerve endings in there open and exposed amd feeling way too large. Try as we might to keep from feeling pain, sometimes it is just unavoidable. Smth it's the only thing left.

No matter how hard i try to erase you of my life, you keep coming back and that does not help with anything at all. In fact it is nt wasy to forget someone who gave you so much to remember. I like my life. I like it the way it is and i don't want it to change. And i just thought, i might like it more, with you in it. I hope i am not wrong. It sucks to a great extent to like someone so much, but not being able to do anything about it. No one understands this and no one would be able to anyway.

Somehow i thought the upcoming academic jorney would be as memorable as the previous one was. But you had chosen a different course. I guess i will be embarking on this journey alone. And i hope i will survive through it. Neverthless, our paths may be different, but the ultimate goal is the same. I sincerely wish u all the best for ur future endeavours and im proud of ur achievements.

PS: You are still my fren even after speaking atrocious tamil on national tv. =)

Time flies when you are taking a break; or if you happen to be enjoying every moment of it. I hope the next 4 years of my life passes through like that. That is provided my appeal is successful, coz i cant imagine myself sulking through 4 years of my life in school everyday. Not sure if i made the right decision, but smth you just have to trust ur gut feeling.

I love the feeling whereby u feel so free and light, and even the simplest of all jokes is damn funny till u laugh like there is no tmr, and then u fall into a deep sleep.

Im glad a particular lecturer of mine called me up tdae, to remind me of my purpose in my life. It's ppl like these who make a difference in ur life without you yourself knowing it.

The more you dont want something, the more it keeps coming back to you. I learnt that lesson the hard way.

When i finished my PSLE exams, i wanted to go to a gd girls sch like Cedar, but i ended up at Dunman sec, a neighbourhood sch,

When i finished my 'o' levels, i wanted to go to the polytechnic to do a diploma, but somehow i ended up in a jc/pre uni.

When i wanted to go the uni from there, my results were so 'CMI' that i could nt go in there so i had to go the poly,

When i was in the poly, i wanted to do a diploma in biomedical science, but i ended up doing biomedical informatics eng,

When i was in my final year, embarking on my major project, i actually wanted to do a Biology based project but i ended up doing a biomedical instrumentation project,

In uni, I wanted to pursue a physiotheraphy degree, but i gt into bioengineering instead..Hmm.

Life is always made up of choices.

At the age of 5,

I wanted to be a lawyer, becoz i thot lawyers were so smart;

At the age of 10,

I wanted to become a tamil teacher, becoz i was truly inspired by primary school tamil teacher.

At the age of 12,

I wanted to become a doctor, becoz saving lives were so cool.

At the age of 16,

I did not know what i wanted to be anymore.

At the age of 19,

I still did not know what i wanted to become.

At the age of 21,

I secretly wanted to be a doctor, becoz i was inspired by the characters from Greys Anatomy.

At the age of 22,

I wanted to become a physiotherapist, becoz i wanted to make a difference in people's lives.

Now im 23,

And i think i want to be working in a science lab playing with viruses and bacteria.

And yes Ive finally graduated.One chapter ends; and another begins

2010-04-15T00:46:00.006+08:00

I feel like crap now. Just before u think of others namely your friends before yourself, hold it. Because it's not worth it at all. Not even a single penny, trust me it's that bad. Because no matter what happens in your life, their life still has to continue. Not sure if it is selfish or whatsoever but it is part and parcel of the cycle of life. So one moment you think you have over reacted and then you go ahead with how things were in the past. The next moment when you expect for the same events to happen, it doesnt happen. And who gets disappointed at the end of the day. Just you, yourself! ( If u don get wad i was trying to say..no worries coz even i dont get what i was typing lol )

So after much contemplation, deep thinking, analysing, intense comparison, intellectual conversations, sleepless nights, anxiety attacks and etc, i have decided to appeal into my second choice of course for my NTU admission. To begin with, the decision to pursue my next level of tertiary education locally wasnt a easy one to make. I have always had the tini winy bit of wishful thinking to go Australia and do my degree, because it is the ONLY way i can get to EXPERIENCE and ENJOY an independent lifestyle, freedom, financial freedom and everything else that comes along with it. But by the looks of it, I am not prepared to go there and settle all these things on my own yet. And it would be unfair for another party to be involved in this process too because they might have other commitments to settle. Then comes the cost issue, the trust issue which I feel i should be elaborating about here. Therefore peepz, yes i am going to be sticking around here for atleast the next few years unless god chooses to end my life early.

I am in fact very proud of myself that i made it into the local uni, especially when i cant help but to compare myself in the situation i was in 3 years back after receiving my A level results. I cant remember how many days i was crying for. I did not even bother to take a peek into the NUS or NTU websites because i knew that i did not even meet the minimum requirements. But today im proud to announce to all those who had doubted me and my abilities that i have made it thus far. The duration of the journey does not matter, its the ultimate destination where you intend to reach that matters.

Having said so much about where I am going to be and what i am going to do for the next few years now my thoughts abt it. Frankly speaking ive got mixed fellings about this. Because I dont have the confidence to erm..u know if im like going to make is through this 4 year long journey. Another hurdle to cross is my appeal, not sure if i's going to be successful or not, if it is not...Im so doomed. I cannot bring myself to study something I dont really like anymore..not for 4 years at a degree level. Im a human being afterall. Though Ive reached this stage any i dont really have much options left, i feel like i need to make the best of what is given to me.

It's also a pity that i cant share the exact same academic journey with some of peers whom i wish i could due to i) national service commitments or ii) different area of academic interest.

The more my 'people' ( extended family members, extended relatives, irritating kaypohs, extras and rodents ) come to know about my uni admission, the more i doubt my ability to perform. Somehow I dont have the confidence that others have in me. Hmm i wonder why.

Excluding my academia, im starting work next week at SDS ( The Treasury ). The sickening thing is that i need to wear formal wear to work every day. And i dont have a proper formal wear for christ sake. And according to my mum if i were to make purchases with regards to my new job she claims its as an unnecessary expenditure thingy. To me i take it as an investment because you are bound to wear formal clothes sooner or later so you should probably buy them n get used to wearing them and not wait and panic when a situation like this happens. It's going to office hours something i used to hate when i was doing Mp/ Sip. And then i got the ugly opportunity to work at SGH and experience the shift hours, but that shift hours was nothing like what i was prepared for. So now im going to see if i fit this office hours regime. It's going to be like a no life routine for 4 months and ive got to handle 2 tuition kids along with it. My only consolation for this job would be that a colleage/ friend of mine who had also quited the SGH job in few days itself is also joining me for the same job. It'll be double happiness if we get posted to the same department too lol. And guess what she too has received her NTU admission letter. If everything goes well wih my appeal we'll both be in the same course along with many others from my diploma. I am praying very hard for everything to go well. Gna keep my fingers crossed with a duck rice..oops sorry i meant duct tape which is like a tape LOL.

I was about to bring up an incident that happened a few days ago. But my fren assured me that it might have gotten resolved so it's better not to bring it up once again and dwell on it. So if they can go out and eat n everything i guess everything is fine. So im not going to ask anything about and im going to pretend nothing happened.

I need to learn and remind myself every now and then, about not putting my friends ( selected lucky few) first before myself because im always at the losing end because of this. I live for myself and not for others. At the end of the day, only your closed ones are going to stick by you during a stormy weather. So do spend all the time you can on these people instead. =).

Thanks for the ntu experience recount website dee (NERD),it helped to liven up my mood loads.

Thanks CY for listening to me. PS : I know you are still around in SGP...but i still miss you lol.

I forgot to mention about my brother's invasion into the house. Due to the major catastrophe, Im suffering from a lot of losses in major areas such as :

1) food supplies

2) electrical supplies

3) bathing supplies

4) financial supplies

DAMN IT! Thank god I only have 1 elder sibling to deal with who seems to be at his peak of enjoyment level. And im jealous about it. This is no fair.

That's all for now coz im seeing starts I cant believe i stayed up till this late to update of all things but my blog. Stay tuned for my next entry on my tuition kids and my short stint ( one hell of a experience) at SGH.

2010-03-22T18:27:00.003+08:00

Work sucks big time.....really fucking big time...and it doesnt help that my birthday falls this week..

Im just counting down for 3 months n then i'll freaking leave the work.

3 months = abt 90 days

90 days - 13 off days ( 13 weeks ) = 77 days of work!

God please help me pull thru this 77 days of work.

Jus when u thought that whatever you had experienced earlier was bad, the future encounters makes it even worse.

2010-03-21T00:56:00.003+08:00

Loads of things suck :

Teaching tuition on Sundays
Having to teach a tuition who drains your energy for the day
Office hours
The morn bus and train rides whereby i squeeze like sardines
Not having enuff kaching
Having what i wanted for so long but not in the way i was hoping to get it
Home cooked food
Having to work when the weather is so nice
Not having financial freedon
Not being able to do whatever i want w/o anyone questioning me
Ppl doing things under the influence of their loved ones

So basically life sucks lol

2010-03-08T00:36:00.002+08:00

I very much want to change my blogskin...but to no avail. I cannot find any skin that is as good as this or better. The designer of this skin has been quite inactive over the past 2 years or so.

I would love to go for a holidays with my friends or anyone else on my own, but i know that my parents will never allow me to do that. If i persists, i'll be the mutton soup dish on the dinner table.=)

It seems that when you are in it, u'll do crazy things ..so i would love to do the crazy things as well. just anything but with you.

It's not that i dont want it...at times i even yearn for it, but no one is going to understand.

I plan to switch off my mobile for the week, because i dont want my week to be ruined and i refuse to face reality. I have given it all, and only i know what is it like to deal with the outcome especially when i know it's going to be bad.

I'll drink how much i want, because at the end of it all...we all know it's worthwhile. Well, atleast i dont go around saying the ** is under me.

2010-03-06T16:10:00.003+08:00

Around 1 week ago...if i were to slit my wrist, coffee and red bull would be dripping away instead of blood.

But now if i were to slit my wrist, WINE will be dripping away instead of blood.

The feeling was great and i loved it. Fridays could never have been any better!

2010-02-16T00:33:00.002+08:00

She has given her love,care, happiness,and almost all just for you guys.. In return all she expects is some care and concern shown towards her.. Its not something she expects alot.. Its not politics, it is an undeniable known truth.. If you feel, you guys know what to do.. The ultimate person who is suffering in silence all these while is me..

I am at the last leg of the race,and only i know how close i am to giving up, simply because i know the outcome and most importantly it feels like I am very lonely in this race too.

As much as i tell myself a million times not to neglect my friends when i get into a relationship, i pray really hard not to do so when it happens. Slap me if i do alright?!

There were so many things that i really wanted to do so much; be it a outing or learning something new, but i have never been able to do so for one reason or another. But i think at times you have to be selfish and do what you want to do, atleast to achieve your ultimate goal.Even if it is not for yourself do it for the sake of your loved ones because they were the only ones who were supporting u from the very moment u step into this world.

I have never been asked to play a two faced role as a tuition teacher. I swear i din sign up for this too. But guess wad, this whole commitment issue is draining every single bit of my energy. I feel helpless and very pathetic. And the best part of it all, my conscience will eat me alive if i quit now.

All I did was to coincidentally walk past the area we first met, and that's all it took for the memories to come flooding back into my mind like there is no end. Bad enough to even disturb me in my sleep and dreams. It is a pointless issue and i know our life paths will never cross, but i can strongly vow that my heart will continue to yearn for you till i meet someone new. And by astrological predictions, that is going to take about erm..7 to 8 years.

Filling up application forms have never been this daunting before.

Yes, i would love a perfect company if i were to go overseas to pursue my tertiary education. Better still someone who would like to study the same thing as me. BUT, i would rather go alone, than to go with someone whom i think i cant get along with.Someone who behaves differently every now and then, and does not take ownership or even apologise for the previous action. I cant pretend what you did was fine, even if it does not involves me.

i find it absurd that people can leave their hand phones in silent mode for a long period ( hours ) of time.

Till i find my romeo, Valentine's Day or even my Birthday is just going to be like any other day for me.No big deal.. =)

2010-01-03T23:14:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year!!! everyone....

I shall begin the first entry of the year by listing out the movies i intend to watch for the year. Oh and i don't mind, even if i have to catch em alone, especially after all the things ive been through together with the waiting and all. Afterall how bad can watching a movie alone be as compared to having to eat alone.

x) Avatar 3D - release liao

1) Eclipse - 9th July

2) Alice in Wonderland - 5th Mar ( in 3d if possible )

3) Salt - 20th Aug

4) Brothers - 22nd Jan

5) Sex and the City - 28th May

6) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 1 - 19 Nov

7) Whip It - 9th April

8) The Lovely Bones - 29th January

9) Karate Kid - 19 June

( Above list courtesy of Yahoo Movies )

So a new year has began, and we shall see what's in store for me. The past year was terrible, so i am going to hope everything gets better this year. It is going to be a important year as i graduate from Tp and figure out the rest of my tertiary education while working in a relevant job provided.

I love Macs for their curly fries before the pre cheena new year season. Wee

That's all i have for now...see ya soon. =)

2009-12-01T23:20:00.002+08:00

I spent my days, my hours and give in everything i could possible give for a project that lasted for about 8 months and all it takes is just one irresponsible member to ruin the whole project and everything else. By everything i refer to everything that i've worked my ass off to keep up for the 2 years of my academic life in tp.And once again, all it takes is just one person to ruin everything. Obviously im still very sore about and NOTHING is going to change my opinion about this issue. And to top it off, there is not even the slightest sense of remorsefulness felt by the person. No apologies, no words, no comments.

While all this is happening, a fellow mp friend of mine who slacked his way through mp got into EPS just by designing a website with a tutorial module embedded with it. The most painful thing, designing a website was like the project load of one module which i did in Semester 2.2.Life is so fair.

So I worked like a dog, immediately aft my judging ended, and through the weekend because i badly needed the money (not as if i get to spent any of it anyway) and i wanted to spend time with my lil gang. Miraculously, i attended school on Monday for the sake of gaining the class participation mark for the peer editing exercise of draft 2, despite being physically and mentally worn out. On tuesday, i had Biostats quiz. And now i realised the importance of the last few hours before your quiz. It makes a hell lot of difference to your marks. The type of quiz you get also matters to a freaking great extent. If you get a difficult paper, then you just have to deal with it and of course the aftermath which takes a long time for me to dissolve.

I'm not being hard on myself, it's extremely disappointing because i know i can do it and yet for some stupid circumstantial reasons, everything gets ruined. It is very disheartening and difficult to pick up myself and continue this journey. And at times like this, it can be very lonely as well, because there's not much people you can talk to or who will understand your situation, unless they've been through it as well.

I detest people who take hours or days to see their sms and worse still not even reply. They can just vanish into thin air just like that, and act as if nothing had happened when being confronted. But yet they can be extremely active playing facebook games, if only the hours invested there could have been put to better use?

Why does it matter ...what lift i take? which place im sitting at? why im at a particular place?why im with this person? why a group is scattered or closely populated? why the results r so bad to the extent that you have 2 compare results and all? like what is your fucking problem seriously?!

No matter how much Singaporeans praise themselves about being part of a multi racial society, trust me the same group of Singaporeans are also extremely racist, be it whether at work or at school, The same goes for politics which i realise is often coupled with racial issues as well.

Thanks for your concern n motivating me to study even harder, but i just dont have the momentum yet. hope u understand, but then again thanks. Looks like we'l never go out to eat, or drink, or have a Starbucks coffee anytime soon lol.

I dont care if u got to add minced pork in your porridge or your fav food is bak kut teh or you snort like a pig, or you fall asleep so blatantly during lectures , you are still one of my closest friend in my tp journey and i'll cherish you and i thank god that i atleast discovered u in the final few semesters of my diploma.Thanks for enduring my nonsense, my crappiness and just everything that comes along with the package, thanks dei...i mean nei...

I still strongly stick with my saying that " All exes should be hacked with an axe"

Despite advancements in mobile technology and all, people still choose to not reply anything more than 2 messages. It's ok i still "love" you and your bike even more. PS :Im so gna get poked for this statement.

2009-11-16T23:13:00.002+08:00

I gotta a very very bad feeling about the week...

As for miseries encountered so far

My *&^%$ circuit that was working well and for once like finally on fri wasnt working tdae. Today all the circuit, all the channels werent working n went haywire..so ultimately nth is working now...and FRIDAY is my judging...so halleluyah
Apparently some groups already know who their MP judges are, their presentation timing n all and as for my sup's groups no information liao.
My stupid idiotic *&^% samsung omnia 2 hp is spoilt, so im really resisting a strong urge from throwing it away n nt regretting abt it at all...
I was kinda glad that my casing for the #$%^ gt done in one day ( today. of coz with the help of CY if not i think i'll b doing box hunting in Singapore), but when i came back to du to check my circuit...BOOM i got hit damn badly by REALITY! ( AKA CIRCUIT NT WORKING)
Basically till mp ends, i obviously cant concentrate on anything la DUH, but ther's clinical lab eq quiz on thurs..n i havent studied...I feeling like "AWOL"ing all lessons till Fri but i cant..if not my mailbox will b filled with warning letters
ON FRIDAY, IRREGARDLESS OF MY MP JUDGING OUTCOME AND IRREGARDLESS OF WHO'S FOLLOWING ME IM GNA CELEBRATE THE END OF MP WITH *$, WELL EVEN IF I HAF TO RANT IT ALL OUT ON MY OWN I'LL DO IT N I REALLY WILL OKIE, becoz i think i deserve it.
All the angels out there, please pray hard that everything goes well for me this week..k, your help will b greatly appreciated, i promise.

2009-11-06T23:39:00.004+08:00

SCHOOL IS FUCKED UP, n becoz of that everything else is fucked up too.

It's a Friday.The time was 515pm and i was at my supervisor's office. We gave up trying our best to solder tiny wires onto tiny components better known as SMD (surface mount components). My supervisor received a call. He then told us to go back to the DU to get our bags and come back to meet him at his office.We rushed back to the du, becoz on Fridays they lock it up before 6pm. We came back to the DU, packed our bags hurriedly. I decided to bring back home a board to solder so that we could do testing for our anologue part in PEACE,( despite the freaking fact that we already soldered another board previously, spent hours troubleshooting it, the filter and the amplifiers were working fine aft hours of troubleshooting, but now it seems that programming can only be done on that freaking f-ed up board). Back to the du, i needed a paper bag so i jus grabbed sam's huge mooncake paper bag n threw in my pcb boards, components soldering iron, sponge, fluz, wick, solder, cutter, pliers, stripper, tweezer etc.... By then the time was 535pm, and i had to catch a movie with mum at 630pm. The net was working at a snail place and i din manage to complete my online movie booking.I told my group mates to go ahead n meet my supervisor w/o me. I then went off to TM, lugging the huge mooncake bag. And everytime i happen 2 accidentally peek into the contents of the bag, the farnell components envelope package grinned back at me in somewhat a evil way. My mum actually thot i really ran away from sch.BUT STILL IM SO FREAKING MAD ANGRY THAT THE BOARD I SPENT HOURS ON, WHERE THE ANALOG PARTS OF IT WERE WORKING AND NOW I CANNOT CONTINUE TO WORK ON IT, BUT have to solder a new board(= new problems and all).WTF LA SERIOUSLY WTF! WADS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD?IS GOD ARND N WATCHING ALL THESE. N TESTING MY PATIENCE?TO TOP IT OFF, THERE'S POLITICS TO HANDLE TOO.

AND AS IF THINGS WERENT BAD ENUFF, CHECK OUT WAD'S IN STORE FOR ME FOR THE WEEKEND...

1) Solder new board

2) Career comm report( intro + physical description + references)worth 10 marks

3) Study for advance electronics quiz

4) Start typing my hematology report

5) Think of more biostats qns for biostats proj

6) EPS poster design( as if ive completed my proj!!)

Im not sure if the movie plan on Sat was a good idea.

SCHOOL IS F-ED UP, AND BECOZ OF THAT LIFE SUCKS TOO.Jus cant wait for

4 EVERYTHING to end. Really..

AND AS FAR AS MP( WHICH IS WORTH 12 CREDIT UNITS) IS CONCERNED, IM PREPARED FOR THE WORSE. The path im going to take after my diploma...depends so much on my MP grade, my subjects grade for this semester. The tiny weeny hope tht i had, its flickering away...

And all of a sudden, i feel so empty, lonely, hopeless n lost..BIG TIME

2009-10-29T21:46:00.002+08:00

Im dying...battling school every day is a disaster. Previously it used to be like, only a few weeks would be torturous and somehow we'll all pull through. But this time round, every day is like those few weeks. My energy is depleting bit by bit and sooner or later i wun b surprised if i collapsed.At times i feel like crying out loud, but i dun because i know its not going to help much.

It's multi tasking at advanced stage, handling MP and my 3.2 subjects and the avalanche of assignments that come along with it like free gifts.

Everyone knows how much i love to eat, but sad to say ive reach a stage where im so scared to eat, because the food i eat jus doesnt get digested and i keep vomiting everything out. So basically i have not eaten any proper food since monday. Due to that even the simplest of task, seem to be very daunting for me.

The 5 stages of grieving;

1) Denial

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance

Im at stage 5 now.=)

And as for him, he's happy after so long and that's what should matter.

2009-09-25T23:37:00.003+08:00

Oh Man, ther's always so many things i want to write, but my laziness catches up with me each time i intend to do so. I really think i need to have a notebook with me anytime..anywhere.

So Guess...whu's in town...!!!!One of my idols, Lewis Hamilton .....is in town. He's 24( my fav no btw) this year and his bdae falls on 7th of January, which means he is a Capricorn..woo hoo, no wonder he is so humble. But he mentioned that he grew up with labels such as HUGO Boss and Tag Heugher which pretty much accounts for his stylish suits and watches.I love him and i always will no matter what, even if he loses the Grand Prix this season. There's always the next season right!!! And to the bitch who mentioned that Lewis Hamilton needs a face enhancement just because she likes guys with sharp noses, hmm, it just goes to show that you are only liking the person because of his appearance. But i dont blame you, because amongst us there are many of us who also do the same.

School sucks. My semester break is about to end in a few weeks time, and im not done with my major project yet. This was kinda of an expected outcome, but i just dont know how i am going to handle so many things at a time, next semester. I cant wait to graduate, just 1 more semester baby, and GOODBYE to Tp.Not saying this because i din have a good time at tp or what, its just that i cant wait to work and then go on to start my uni education( if i get through that is).I just need to get there and i'll be fine.Till then everything else like love can definitely wait.

And to you, my special close friend,

I really missed you a lot over the past few months. Sometimes there were so many things i wanted to talk to you about, discuss and seek your advice because i know you wont judge me and i could just tell everything to you, but i felt like we werent that close anymore, untill the recent outings.So i hope everything is changed for the better and it will remain this way even if the world ends tmr. Muacks i Love You. PS : Could we have a girls only outing sometime soon.

Talking about love,,,well for now ive got nothing to hold on to, because i planned to let go of whatever that i was holding on to. So currently im floating around aimlessly just like an jellyfish. I dont have any major qualms about it yet for now.So off you go, floating like a paper boat by the river with a string attached.

The more and more i try to erase you, the more and more you keep appearing, is it a sign?

In approximately 5hr and 49 mins, the season premiere of greys anatomy will b done downloading and im going to watch it wee...Season 3 of Gossip Girls has begun..too.

AND YOU. MY DEAR WEEKDAY GETAWAY PARTNER. Im so disappointed with and was very mad at you that day. What was the attitude for over the ph dude. If you are busy having a steamboat dinner, do tell me so, atleast i would have called back the next day or so to continue with the conversation. But i am not the type of person who only calls up someone whom im in trouble.I am someone who like to still keep contact with my friends even if im dying, having a semester break, attached and etc.If despite of the above mentioned i still don really contact you unless there is a need to do so, perharps it could be due to the fact that YOU go MIA during weekends or semester breaks in the name of spending more time with loved ones, or that YOU dun really contact me as well or that YOU dun really reciprocate as expected when i contact you.It occurs to me that you have this impression that i only call you when im in distress and i wonder how often im usually in that state.So MR BUSY BUISNESSMAN, are you free this coming Sunday to attend our fellow friend's open house?, esp when she only invited her closest friends....

Being in a relationship changes someone, for the better or for the worse,,only time can tell

( No offence)

Out of the many available definitions for the word memory, i choose to quote this one;

a person, thing, event, fact, etc., remembered. .Personally i feel that a memory is entwined with feelings.That particular event became a memory just not like that, but maybe because it touched your heart. So in the end, how can a memory just stand alone without the feelings involved, even if it's for a non living thing. The past is not something all of us can wipe out so easily and completely out of our mind unless we go through a memory failure . And to justify the moving on phase, based on how much of the memories we have retained seems unfair to me.It really beats the hell out of me as in ..how can someone forget their exes and not even have the slightest of feelings for them. If that happens smoothly, i would like question if you guys were really in love with each other in the first place.

Take Me Away, a secret place,
A sweet escape, take me away,
Take Me Away, to better days
Take Me away, a hiding place

2009-09-09T21:49:00.001+08:00

Crushed
Screwed Up
Fucked UP
Lacking Confidence
Freaking Low
Lifeless
Exhausted
Demoralised

2009-09-05T00:27:00.000+08:00

Your horoscope for September 4, 2009

It is important to confront your troubles head on, priyalatha, but not at the expense of living your life. An important person in your life, the one who acted as your "touchstone," no longer figures prominently. This is a difficult adjustment for you, to be sure. Make an extra effort not to turn inward, as is your tendency to do in times of trouble. Force yourself to socialize and you may find a new friend and confidante.

I guess its one of those days where ur horoscope matches perfectly

2009-08-27T22:37:00.001+08:00

Hmm.I took the day off, as i was down with a flu and fever. It seems to me that my major project is being embarked on by only 2 group members, namely me and Sam.Now im beginning to regret my decision of recruiting the 3rd member. Just maybe i should have chosen a Bio based project.I have to admit that i havent been putting in much effort lately with regards to my project.

Ive started watching True Blood.I would have appreciated it better if only the hero and heroine were better looking. It's ok i can make do with whatever that is available.
___________________________________

Okay im freaking exhausted today. Mr chua FINALLY returned today after a 5 week long absence. His "comeback" made us all very exhausted. I was so freaking nervous on my way to school itself.Just 2 hours into the day and i had finished drinking more than half the water in my water bottle.And i nearly hugged my fren aka "WGP" becoz i was like so relieved to see him..no qualms abt tht..wink wink. I really felt like hiding under the table...when i saw Mr Chua. He is the onlt tp tchr that im so scared of.But he's cute okie...im so proud that he's my boss. He spent about 2 hours and 45 mins troubleshooting my board. How geekingly cute can that get. I hate it when im left alone with him, becoz ther is this inevitable silence.I did miss him a lot and im so so glad tht he's back, atleast i dun feel like a hor fun..oops sorry i mean orphan animore. But his presence itself creates this very mentally intense exhausting feel...n i gt this feeling his brain works like a microcontroller.He has excellent fingers that dance during troubleshooting and wrists tht cracks every now n then while handling the mouse.

Accompanied Emm to do threading aft school. Then took 291 n alighted near 201, n took 59 back home. When i was under my block, i chanced upon daddy, daddy love was on his way to go for Nite shift, then i accompanied to his bus stop n waited till 8pm with him till his bus came. I know..i know im sweet..Thanks for the compliments!

There is cold war going on, and it just shows how childish and immature people can get at times.But it's ok, its thru experiences like these, we gain enlightenment abt ppls behaviour.

Sometimes i jus put in so much of effort into doing things for people and i cant understand why, especially when its not worth at all.

About ppl being materialistic,

It's not like he/she an shopaholic.
it's not like he/she's obsessed
But just buying that thing gives him/her a subtle, proud sense of ownership.

Dont get me wrong.Sometimes you cant be yourself with everyone. Atleast i know i can be myself and still have a good time, even if it's just a short conversation or a laugh over a stupid joke; with you around. In case you are wondering who you are...i met ya on Tue..i think haha.Atleast i know you aint fake.

Wanting to be like this..like that..do this do that is one thing, but how much do you want to push yourself to do what you want to do is another. because it makes a hell lot of difference.

I feel so alien like, when people who havent spoken to me in ages or do not know what's happening in my life try to get in2 contact with me suddenly. It's awkward...jus lettin u know.

I think the unexpected change was good.It was like a good makeover marking a new beginning. Besides that having it reminds me of you, because only i know how much you wanted it as well.

It's pointless to blatantly mutter "i'll change" but not do anything about it.

I miss Buskin Robbin's Butter Pecan ice cream.

thanks for the support, you guys mean a lot to me..and you know who you all are...

I HATE PEOPLE WHU R RACIST...

There is a clear threshold limit that i possess and if u exceed that...

2009-08-13T23:42:00.002+08:00

I din realise until lately that my blog page has this glittering effect. Damn cool la.

Was dying to watch "The Proposal" when emm mentioned that its out, but the limited timings kinda suck, so i shall contain the excitement till next week. I need to enjoy, sleep, slack, Etc all i can and as much as i can untill the 25th. Coz the "u know whu" is cuming back on the 25th. I can imagine in what state i'll be in after he comes back and he is going to turn a slow ride into an unforgettable roller coaster ride. I wished my project can end next week, but given its present state the truth is, it wun end during this mp/sip period, which means my project work will have to continue throught the usual 7 week semester break and into the next semester. So when the next semester begins(in abt few weeks time), it'll be an ultimate showdown between my elective subjects( claimed to very diff) and my major project. We'll see if i can survive.LOL!

Frankly speaking, im not in the least surprised at how our friendship has become. Because i knew this would happen.I cant help but to admit that things have changed.It's not your fault and im not blaming anyone. I've never wanted to say this but ...i dont know why it feels like ive lost 2 very close/special friends of mine.It just doesnt feel the same anymore and i know deep down there's nothing can be done. That's why ive changed, by choosing to avoid things; im actually not that busy.Im happy that youve found the love of ur life, i know you did go thru just so much to reach this stage. So here's me wishing u all the best, atleast now i know you are in safe hands.

I dun only miss you, but i miss all of us the way we were. I had one of my best nights, best laughs, in fact the bestest time spent with friends was when i was with u guys only. (family nt included).Ive never spent so much time out with anyone else or even been able to talk about anything under the sun so freely. I could put up with a monkey complaining about how his butt is getting hot because of sitting in that particular place. I could skip studying for semestral exams during the study break and jus spent time with you guys, because at the end of it all, i know everythong would turn out fine. You would be the first person i'll msg when i get my results and my heart will only stop beating so fast after i get ur reply msg praising me, even if ive gt an ugly C grade, staring back at me I could eat a mcspicy burger till the salad n the mayo drip and i know no1 would say anything. I could crave for an ice cream in the middle of nowhere and i know the guys will go get it somehow. I could ask for drink during an soccer match because i know the guys will go all out to get it for us, even though they have to miss the match and queue and struggle through the crowds. I could ask for satay even if a detour had to be made.I could smile away when i reached singapore on the 26th april to hear that i jus missed my friends when they were quite near actually waiting for me.I just could be myself.

Now for the better or worse, ive changed espmy views on friendships has changed drastically. Im cold, bitchy, rude, pmsing 24/7.

Hey dude, you go missing and then you come back, and then you go missing and you come back n surprise me suddenly, only to disappoint me in the end.This is not helping me in any way to forget everything and move on. Just who are you? and what are you?Tell me please.

And this song goes out to u, them, and everyone else.

Artist: Ronin

Song: One more moment

Don't take too long to say

I love you to the ones you love
Cause time has a habit of slipping away

And out on the clear blue sky
When lightning strikes on a sunny day
Just take me in and keep me from the rain

And the words that seem so hard to say
Come out when you've gone away
Just stay a little while and hear me say

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment with you

Turn away to say goodbye
With each and every word that passes by
Like a distant memory

And time keeps slipping away
And time will turn to grey
And time will be the one who holds you down

And the words that seem so hard to say
Come out when you've gone away
Just stay a little while and hear me say

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment with you

Sometimes time will treat you bad
Before you even know what's wrong
And in the end it hits you hard
Please tell me you'll be strong

2009-08-06T22:17:00.002+08:00

As if i haven't heard enough lately, it just got worse. Just when i thought that everything was falling into place, this had to happen.

I hate it when any1 speaks bad about my friends, just anyone. You not only wrecked up my future terribly, but you said so many things that make my mum think otherwise.Thanks for walking into my life, only to tell me what's the worst that's in store for me. I would rather die than to go through it.

I hate you.

2009-07-16T23:18:00.002+08:00

You know im dying in sch. I m really dying. My sup wun b arnd for 5 weeks, and that's like the worst thing ive ever heard. Ive got no idea how are we going to survive without him. It's not going to be easy that i know.

I need a shoulder to lie on & cry because im just so stressed out and im very very very EXHAUSTED.I always thot that u knew the right time to call me, but this time round im just disappointed in u, i guess.

2009-07-03T20:20:00.004+08:00

Sorry for my absence bcoz sch's been keeping me busy. And ive begin writing entries on a diary because there are so many things i want to say & i dun wan 2 say it here for obvious reasons.

PS: Im writing the following in a right frame of mind, im not emoing, im not pmsing, im doing fine at the moment.

" Do not waste today in anticipation of tomorrow. Live now."

Whenever we face the truth that the end is drawing nearer, we fail to accept it and tell ourselves that its happening too fast and that we havent lived our lives completely yet.Simply because every day was spent fulfilling duties, doing work and etc.If we were to allocate some time each day and do things you genuinely love, you'll never have to worry about the end, because deep down you know you have lived your life and appreciated everything that you had to.

So peeps, If ther's anything you have always wanted to do, but a certain some1 or circumstances have been preventing you from doing so, now is the time to do it, because life is short and you never know what is going to happen next.

I will never ever want to go through that awkward situation ever again. Ive never felt this lonely before despite being surrounded by closest group of friends.Ive never ever felt like that before in my entire life. I would rather ....than to have go through that again.

This is going to sound selfish, but here it goes. Thanks to my bro's absence, this gave all of us at home a chance to bond. We've never been this close and we actually rarely have a meal together as a family, and i only see my parents on a occasional basis.But despite all these, we did share our happiness, sorrows, anguish..jus everything.Ive always worried about how im going to survive, leaving everything behind and going abroad to further my studies, and if that happens i'll miss home and my family the most.

Thanks to you, ive been enlightened & im more independent. =)

I think you have gone thru enough for the year, and somehow he is just putting you to a test because he knows you can overcome this. You are brave and i know you will. Restricting yourself is going to be very difficult, i understand and i'll be there for you no matter what happens. We are in this together.Dude, everything happens for a reason right, SMILE!

Mp has been mentally and physically tiring. No one will ever understand the pain & the frustration one has to go thru and put up with unless you are also doing your Mp. The process of getting to school, i mean dragging myself to school has become a chore. It's also getting more and more difficult to do it. I need help.

I know it's not easy handling our project. We all have different working styles and we have to work it our somehow putting our differences aside. Take responsibilities for your actions. Help each other whenever and wherever possible. This is a team game, so every member and his/her input/output matters and we will make it matter.Hold on and Endure and we'll get thru it jus fine k.=)

MP TEAM, Chung Ming, Choon Yee, Emilla, Fen Nee, Chen Kwang and all others,Thanks People, not sure if you guys are aware, somehow your little actions or words of encouragement has made me survive my mp journey thus far... Thanks for the Support and i hope you'll continue to do so in the months to come. Peeps catch me when im falling, k..=)

He's got a whole component store database up in his mind. He "owns" a PhD in biomedical geekotronics. He reads Harry Potter. He spents hours sitting with you to troubleshoot your circuit but sadly to no avail.He "scolds" you but in the end of it all he gives you a priceless smile.He takes ages to reply urgent mails.He painstakingly answers all your dumb questions. He knows Eagles Software in his fingertips.He makes me feel helpless and dumb with his presence.He communicates via Geekotronic language. He makes mental calculations when it comes to engineering maths, hence he doesnt need a calculator.He knows all the lab equipments as if they were their friends.Programming is his forte. Soldering iron cooperates with him so well. He uses soldering iron so well, jus like a pen.He makes hours pass by like anything on Thurs & Fridays.
Hey mister i missed you today. LOL!

My headache is controlling me.I wouldnt be surprised if i had tumour up ther or anything, becoz i did go thru tht intensity of pain, its not easy enduring it and pretending like it's not ther.

2009-06-16T13:20:00.001+08:00

The signs are changing

The planets are moving

And im fading...

My current situation is the best reason i can offer to explain why i choose to block away certain people in my life, its becoz once im too close with em, i find it so hard to let go of em, and tht wher it hits me damn badly leaving me shocked and dumbfounded.You thot you knew em so well but actually the truth is that u merely assumed things for urself.Becoz the trust tht u haf built will jus vanish one day within a blink.And when that happens the word solltude is perfect to describe what's left , if ther is any anyway.

I should give a shot at acting, bcoz ...

There are so many things i wish to accomplish, and with u not by my side, the future looks bleak.

2009-06-12T23:32:00.003+08:00

"It's never going to be the same is, it"..though it seems like nothing has changed, but loads of things have changed in my view. As much as im going to adapt, i too am going to change . Gonna be less dependent and distant, bcoz it's all part of the game.

I figured out the above was too short to qualify as my entry..hence i decided to edit it. =)

Ive never appreciated my family this much before untill lately.I realised how much ive missed and the fact tht i should have heed their advice long before..so that i wont be suffering this much today in silence.I thot they will never know bcoz they dont usually make an effort but this time round i was caught off guard. They actually know something is wrong adn they asked me about it. But i din tell anything because it will affect so many other things, things which i stood wrongly by, once.

Why is that when the future reveals itself, its nowhere near what we have imagined it to be. It's all my fault & i should have seen it coming so that i could have been better prepared. not like now, im simply suffocating and i cringe at the very thought of it, i cant explain this in words, i wish i knew how to express me feeling in a form of art, trust me i would have done an amazing job.

WHY?ONLY 1 INTAKE????I WAN TO GO RIGHT AFT I GRADUATE!!!DAMN..

ithu varai nenjil irukkum sila thunbangalai naam marapom

kadikaram mul tholiathu thodum vanam varai poi varuvom

adai mazhai vasal vanthaal, kaiyil kudai indri vazha veipom

adayalam than turapom, ella thesithilum poi rasippom

~Pala Pala from Ayan

Genting trip was ok, it would have been better if not for the company.Did a lot of thinking bcoz despite the comfy seats i jus couldnt sleep, even now i still cant sleep.

2009-06-02T21:03:00.002+08:00

Feminine and yet masculine, truly one of a kind...
I cant believe i had spent so much of lifetime thinking about you, but i cant breathe without you
It's never going to be the same, is it?

we spent our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow, but the future is always changing, the future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes, but one thing is certain, when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it.

to love each other even when we hate each other

did u say it..i love you, i dun wan 2 ever live without you, you changed my life, did u say it, make a plan, set a goal work towards it, but every now n then look around n drink it in..it might all be gone tmr

when something begins, you generally have no idea how it's going to end

did u say it? i love u...i dun ever wanna live without u.. u changed my life...did u say it?..make a plan, set a goal.work toward it..but every now n den...look around..drink it in..coz..this is it! it might all be gone tml.

2009-05-28T18:47:00.002+08:00

I think its about time i stop putting others before self and worrying too much about other ppl and their actions and focus on where i want to be and what i want to achieve within the next few years. It's for my own good and to avoid any more disappointments to come.I need a break, thankfully ive a term break coming.if ther's a time i wish i can be in some other place away from all this and be very very far away it has to be right now, the ultimate perfect moment. And dun ask me why, but i just refuse to accept the way things are going to be.Oh and ther's no such thing as a happy ending, or a forever or a till death do us apart, coz ther r all BULLSHIT!

Take me somewher far away....

2009-05-25T17:59:00.003+08:00

Sorry peeps ive been mia for a very long time.My last entry dates about more than a month ago.My absence from the blogging world ahould explain how things arnd me are keepin me busy.

My Cambodia trip which lasted from the 19th to 26th Apr was a very enriching one.I thank god and some of my friends, bcoz if not for them, i wouldnt have signed up for the trip.In fact as th 19th was drawing nearer and nearer, i was dreading a lot.Mainly because it was the first time in 22 years that i was leaving away w/o anyone close following me along, and that too for 7 days along.I was also amazed at how much i was freaking out about my trip.I felt so sad, actually nver been tht sad for a very long time.

Eventually Priyalatha survived the Cambodia trip.I made a whole bunch of friends and i got even closer to my coursemates whom i dun even acknowledge during normal school days.I cried during the last nite at PKH as i was really moved by their act of kindness and sincerity towards us. I wasn't expecting to cry but i cried lol.For now, i really miss the students and their warmess.I really hope i can go back there some time in the future and once again render my services.

The experience back there has really taught me to treasure even the little things in my life. I really love my family and friends a lot. Words jus cant describe how much i missed them during ma trip.I was very homesick during the initial period of stay but things go way better as days went by. I am proud to say that i am now not so afraid of insects, bcz in Cambodia, i interacted with all kinds of them from the small ones to big ones, colourful ones, scary looking ones, weird cross breeds, I cant really recall how many of them i slept with in my sleeping bags. I have never used this much of insect repellent in my 22 years of life b4. The best insect award goes to the one tht Jen killed when we were in the hotel room, which emitted a kind of metallic smell tht stinked the dustbin.

To my dearest lil gang members, thanks for coming down to the airport to recieve me.I was really caught by surprise.I am not sure abt how u guys regard me as but to me, you'll always be my special ones whom i hold on to very dearly and keep you close to my heart. Nothing will ever change between us till death do us apart.PS: Please make sure u really know wht u r getting urself into,its not the right time to experiment other species.

There is this one person, in my life whom i seldom get along with 365 days 24/7 all the time. But i think we both missed each other alot during my trip.The very fact that we missed each other loads signifies that we really love each other alot.It is just that the way we show and reciprocate is different of coz, if u know wht i mean.I realise everything happens for a reason.God just
includes some people in your life to teach you many valuable lessons.

"this is how the story went,
i met someone by accident
who blew my away blew me away
it was in the darkest of my days
when you took my sorrow, took my pain
and buried them away, and buried them away
i wish i could lay down beside you
when the day is done and wake up to ur face
against the morning sun
but like everything ive ever known
you disappear one day
so i spend my whole life hiding my heart away"

I pin so much of hopes on you, but not once or twice, all the time u nver fail to disappoint me. Despite that and everyone's advices, i cannot understand why i find it so difficulot to move on. Actually im quite sure i'll be able to soon.Just when everything seemed so perfect, this has 2 happen.It's like some kind of disaster.

Mp is killing me everyday.I feel extremely dumb and stupid due to my inability to perform up to his expectations.I fear for the overall outcome of my MP grade which is worth 17 credit units. I really need to do well in this, but it dwells on me that im putting in all i can to the extent that im beginning to get exhausted. Ever since, Mp began, i sleep by 11 and im awake by 730. I rush like anything jus to board bus no 15 on time so that i'll be able to clock in on time.When i reach home at 6 plus, im so tired to even do anything and i sleep early so that i can scrape thru the next day. This office hours regime is taking a toll on me. It's getting more and more difficult to wake up every day.I am the most happiest person on earth on Fridays, and im so sad on Sundays..bcz the next day is Monday. Mondays are the worst days of the week.

2009-04-18T15:17:00.002+08:00

So in less than 24 hours time, i'll be in CAMBODIA, Phnom Penh?, Pehn?, Kampong Speu, Hope village.I'll be back in action from the 26th onwards.

Ive got LOA, for the 27th.So i only need to go sch on tue, wed, thu & FRIDAY is PUBLIC HOLIDAY. I SO LOVE THE S'pore GOVT!

Sorry MP/SIP mates, i'll join u bth as soon as i can.

Sorry to u( latika) too, i know ive been such a difficult monkey to handle.

Im gna miss smsing, answering calls, staying up way too late, being online, facebooking, msning, watching tv

and i'll miss all of u too...

Take care peeps

2009-04-16T22:58:00.003+08:00

I have never, ever worried so much for you, until now.I may not see you often, but im close enough to hear the fear in your voice. I wish i can be ther for you during the entire process, but i know i'll jus crumble and fall apart if i see you in that state.The very fact that the others are going to be there for you itself, makes me feel guilty,extremely sad and useless. The thought of the process itself is scary enough, so we can jus forget the rest.Neverthless, i'll pray for your speedy recovery.I'll be more than grateful to god, if he takes care of you and gives you all the strength you need during this period.Deep down i know you'll be brave and will overcome this phase .I'll miss you a lot my dearest one and only Animal Planet, during my trip and i wish i can tell you that.Ha....ha....

2009-04-16T01:15:00.002+08:00

I havent been in the best of moods lately, (nth is helping though and i wonder why)..i guess erm nvm
The year hasnt been good, trust me n ive gt a feeling its gna continue to be like this..
Wher are u, when i need u now?
Im not mad at u, ive jus decided to give up on so many things
I feel as if ive lost everything, dreams, hopes
As much as i feel tht u r some1 close to me, smtimes i think u dun think the same way abt me
Ive extended my contract with ma weekday getaway partner cum ____ partner, cant wait to spend time with u..lols
You, ya u... cross my mind everyday
Sch is gna start and that sucks big time, major..
Life just sucks, bcz u always get wht u dun wan 2 get

2009-04-14T12:51:00.001+08:00

Erm..i think it's JUDGEMENT DAY TMR!!!Hoping for the best.

2009-04-04T16:12:00.003+08:00

Ive gt a burning qn, but i believe ther's no answer to that qn.Why do ppl enter our lives only to leave it at one point of time. If it's death i can understand and accept it but for other reasons ...?

I feel like a retarded kid, bcz i cant bite properly, my jaws are weak, that ive to cut apple slices so thin that i can see thru them so easily. Even a few month old baby will b able to eat thicker slices of fruits.It has been only 2 months since i had my braces on, but it feels like its been ther for long, very long . But it's ok it's all for the better.The end result is wht tht matters,=).

Ive got better things to do than planning coincidental excuses that im being grounded instead of goin out. Who would do that? It's totally absurd.I should be the one getting pissed and angry with regards to this issue and no1 else. I dun think so any other 22 yr olds get grounded la. LOl!It's damn hilarious to even think abt it.But i do admit it's ma mistake for not informing. I have reasons for not doin tht as well bcz either way u r going to be angry too rite haha. And pls dun send tht kinda msgs animore i hate it to the core. totally. to the max, bcz it reminds me of my ex best fren whu argues on n on over stupid issues, over smses, n this fights can last for hours. So when i gt tht msg i was like wtf..de javu la! And tht fren's bdae is on mar4th. What a irony la! But then it's ok let's jus forget abt this n move on.

As much as i say i can handle this n delete you n act by putting up a brave front n pretend u dun exist anymore, deep down inside i miss you. It sounds stupid but it's kinda complicated to make others understand. Its not easy too.

Ive been wantin to do so many things but the first step is so diff..!

1) start jogging

2) btt n ftt n driving license

3) go dolphin lagoon

4) play fico foot ball

5) look thru the uni booklets n decide wth i wan 2 do

6) watch he's just nt tht in2 u, street fighter, fast & furious, marley n me, arundathi,4bia...

7) clean my study table n cupboard

tht's the present to do list...

And peepz im 22 now..its just not so funny anymore!

2009-04-02T20:16:00.001+08:00

Im being grounded temporarily! haha..

Ther goes all my weekend plans!

Sorry peeps sum oda time i guess!!!!!!!

2009-03-28T01:42:00.001+08:00

I know it's an old song..but i felt tht the lyrics were quite meaningful..

The Winner takes it All..by Abba

I dont wanna talk
About the things weve gone through
Though its hurting me
Now its history
Ive played all my cards
And thats what youve done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
Thats her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking Id be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
Its simple and its plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I dont wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
Youve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all......

2009-03-23T21:48:00.003+08:00

Wee..this is ma 150th post

I have never missed any1 else this much except u.It gets more & more difficult to cope with departures Not even my own family members. Thank god ther's smth called the mobile phone technology, if nt i wld jus die.I hope u r having a lot of fun.And let's all hope, things will turn out to be better while we let nature takes its course..sounds pretty famuliar.
Birthdays aint exciting anymore as u go pass the 21st mark. Because it reminds you that you have gt 2 start pulling up your socks n get ur acts together esp when u compare urself with wht other 22 yr olds r achieving at this point of time. But it's ok..goin slow n steady allows u to win the race as well.
Smth has gne cuckoo wit my appetite. Dun really feel hungry, This 9-5 OCP trainings are taking a toll on me. I dun do office hours. My whole pattern is screwed..bcz i usually sleep at 3 or 4 am n wake up at 12 or 1 or 2.Cant really fault me bcz im jus so nocturnal.
Kinda looking forward to meet up with my pri sch gals clique this sat. The last we met was in dec during kalp's bdae celebs.We r gna have lunch, catch up on things, n laugh a lot n then in the evening head to tp to watch Swarnam 09.I seriously feel 8 bucks is too much la, given the resources tey have n the shw tey gna put up. But im jus goin dwn to support my cousins. THAT's ALL!
If u really miss some1, and u r sincere enuff, and god thinks tht it's worth the emotions, things actually do happen in ur favour.So have faith ppl!
My bro and i dun talk 2 each other, but we keep contact in the form of forwarded mails which is quite hilarious n serious at the same time.
Ive always wanted to mention this but i keep forgetiing..i really wish Mr Goh Choon Yee & Mr Lok Chen Kwang were following us for the OCT trip.=)

2009-03-17T01:17:00.002+08:00

Personality Test Results :

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
the first part nt so true..im nt really straighforward..depends on the issue, the 2nd part is true though

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
k this is very true, tht shd explain my long term singlehoodedness lol

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
oh yes yes haha

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
this one is totally nt me la..i dun flirt or behave seductively wth la..lol

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
yes i dun like to study, but i dun haf a choice..unusual job..tht's damn cool

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
Yup

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
No way..i dun knw wht's my future gna b like

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Not really..i dun use anger

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
yup true enuff

Whenever im not facing the pc, i can conjure entries for my blog, but when im signed in to blogger, my mind goes blank and i completely forget wht i was supposed to type..great, maybe i shd have a pocket book by my side always haha.

An indian wedding is so complicated. Ther is so many ooha aahs associated with it. Yuck n eews too. Getting dressed up for one is even a bigger issue. From the suit, to the accesories, to the shoes, to the hair..to...it's so troublesome, especially for me bcz i dun like to dress up for occasions like this..unless i really gt the mood to which occurs on a very rare basis. Thank god i found smth to wear the day b4 the wedding, if nt i really wouldnt have attended the wedding. Anyway im not gna b very significant so yea..all the more i shd haf stayed at home n watched tv.Thanks to rev..tht the above din happen. Wht wld i do w/o u man?..I really duno..

Im still not used to my hair.It seems like a lot effort has to be put in to maintain it lol. I so so miss my long hair..boo hoo.I pray hard tht ma hair grows back ASAP. But many have commented tht the new hairdo is not tht bad n all..but still i dun know la..i guess i'll take some time 2 accept it.

I know it's not easy to plan a surprise bdae for a close fren, esp when u guys do so many things together, it's not easy to hide and of coz planning it and executing it. But you guys did an excellent job, and i din see it coming haha.So cute la the set up and all, the location, the stuffs and everything, really appreciate it loads guys. Thanks a lot. Sorry if i din react the way i should bcz i was really shocked and surprised and i was really thinking in ma mind..n i was tired too. And no1 has done anything like these before..so i was like..wow hmmm.Besides im also nt really gd at expressing my thoughts so yeap haha.Im not really gd in handling sentimental cliche or sweet stuffs..haha but anyway thanks darlings..love u all..thanks for the effort n all..truly, sincerely appreciate it k

You never fail to lift my mood, be it gd or bad, but u r like a mystery jigsaw puzzle which is almost impossible to piece up together bcz i dont have the complete picture, so the puzzle should juz b left ther till i figure out things

2009-03-11T23:06:00.002+08:00

I gt mixed feelings abt this

1) I feel so happy, bcz the outcome was somewht wht i had expected it to be.Could have been better though, but still it's good. Atleast i dont feel guilty bcoz i know i have put in my best.

on the other hand

2) You know hw sometimes u go against all odds, give in everything u have, breaking thresholds, spend days and hours bcz u wan smth out of it...and in the end it doesnt turn out that way, and you find urself asking if it was tht bad afterall.Hmm.......disappointing.

and..
i wish i had some1 special to share my joys and sadness with...

2009-03-05T21:18:00.002+08:00

"I fly like paper,
get high like planes .."

I too am addicted to this song.Whenever i listen to this song, i feel so high, like i can conquer anything in the world.If only i could..

I feel so excited like the way we were wheneva we were brought for excursions in primary sch...bcz..

Priyalatha Kurusamy is going IBN BIOPOLIS..tmr ( lil gang, its gt nth to do wif DCFS okie!!!! ). The one place ive always wanted to go ever since i heard abt it.

"Sometimes I think sitting on trains
Every stop I get to
I'm clocking that game
Everyone's a winner,
we're making our fame "..

i told ya i was addicted to the song..

2009-03-03T22:35:00.002+08:00

The nite was fine as usual..

I met her and we went for the bdae party
I guess now they now the kind of ppl i spend my weekdays with in sch
He came to pick us up, looking good as usual when he drives
Then we picked up another monkey
The monkey was hungry, so we decided to head to changi village
We decided to ask him to meet us ther as well,
since he was dying to meet his FI lol, damn gay la haha
We ate, but i guess tension set in after awhile, bcoz we realised that he is coming.
We waited for him.
He got lost and finally reached.
Im so glad tht i have frenz whu dun mind a extra joining us esp when we gt no way of starting a conv with him.
We headed to changi beach
We walked untill we found a spot and talked.
I did attempt to eavesdrop bits n pieces of their conv.
Their as in ASP's and SOC's conv...
Those 2 became emo bcz the scenery was such...
We had fun watching over aeroplanes and making out which airlines did they belong to
I think quantas has got good promotional offers goin on bcz we kept seeing Quantas airlines every now n then.
Oh and she was very good with the airline guessing thingy
We talked n talked till abt almost midnight.
He was heading to jb
He was heading home bcz he had work the next day.
And we were still figuring out wher to go.
In the end we deicded to go slack at marina barrage despite warnings
He followed us there, which was damn sweet.
Im still wondering why though..
We reached Marina barrage.
It was ther at tht very place that we all concluded tht Hayabusa Suzuki is one of the best bikes ever.
His bike is one of the best that ive ever seen and nth else can beat it.
I had a ride on it w/o knowing anything about it.
K back to the outing..
So the 3 of us were at Marina Barrage.
We poured our hearts out.
We were waken up by fake snooze motion wheneva we dozed off
Our butts got bored easily so we kept shifting.
The last spot we were at was the best.
if only we had a mat, i think we wld have all slept while looking upon the sky tht was bedazzled with stars.
The climate was cool and nice.
We got bored, tired and hungry so we decided to take a brisk walk out of the place to reach civilisation.
He was against it, but we were pretty confident that we wld somehow make it outside.
Little did we know..wht was in store for us.
So we walked n walked n talked.
The walk lasted for very long.
We reached a junction when we heard dogs barking.
We freaked out
She said tht they were chasing us.
He refused to accept the fact.
But fear was written all over our faces.
We half walked half run over grass patches n roads
I swear i wasnt prepared to run, i was mentally preparing myself for the worst.
We continued half walking half running untill we realised the dogs werent chasing us.
But we decided to defend ourselves with tree branches.
The other 2 picked up branches tht cld be used as a weapon of defence
But the one tht i picked up was small and pathetic.
I started laughing like a lunatic when i realised tht.
It was damn hilarious to even think about laughing in such a situation, but we all did haha.
We continued walking..
We abandoned our weapon of defence after some time.
We walked past a few bus stops only to realise that the first bus wasnt goin 2 arrive any soon.
We continued walking.
Just then miraculously a cab appeared.
We were so damn bloody glad la.
We hopped in and headed to liang court.
And guess wht it was a mon early morn period
and the macs was filled with gays.
I was actually fine with it but except for one particular person who was moaning like every 5 min interval.
The moaning was terrible and ear piercing according to him.
Ive never seen him get so angry before.
That look he had on his face was a rare sight.
She helped by trying to eat quickly.
We left macs asap n went to a bridge to sit n slack.
i think we looked like drunkards whu were recovering from hangover
I finally know wher is gotham..
Both she and I were taking turns to doze off
and he was having fun keeping us awake
I did a duck butt shake at the bridge
I drove a imaginary bike with sound effects
Once again we became sleepy and tired
We decided to walk and we reached clarqe quay
The two of them had to answer nature's call and so we went to the toilet.
The stairway path tht was leading to the toilet was never ending la
Then we slacked at clarqe quay.
We tried to sleep while he was guarding his precious baby, the ipod touch
We concluded that we needed a coffee to perk us up.
So we went back to the macs n drank coffee
We were all awake like owls momentarily
After tht 2 of us went to pick up ma new passport, while he headed back home.
A big thanks to the guys whu always takes care of us like no1 else will atleast for now

Its scary and amusing at the same time, abt..how a person you know for such a short time, can cross your mind very often like a million times in a day...very scary indeed.You might not know it
but i secretly pray for your safety everyday,bcz i cannot afford to lose you at any cost.

" You're on ma heart jus like a tatoo..
just like a tatoo,
.i'll always have you"
and thanks to you tht im even thinking when i was asked that qn.

Im so freaking nervous abt ma results for this semester and the whole mp/sip allocation. Im jus so scared. It is this time round that my results matters the most for everything to go well and i cant afford to screw up. But looking back i really cant tell anything for sure. But atleast i know i gave it my best shot and i survived it.Its as scary as i was

You know the fact tht i dont know wht i want to do aft my diploma is very..erm sad?Bcoz the atleast the past years passed by and i know i wld still b doin smth the following year, but this time round it's not like that. The more i look at the options i have from here, the more i look at the prerequisites..the more confused and uncertain i am. i don't know why but i just feel not ready for the next part of my academic journey yet. But partly i think, its because my past still haunts me.

Jus for to get well and recover soon before even anything has begun. ive decided to commit myself to do some things. I have never thought i would do such things, Everything happens for a reason so i guess the time has come now.Maybe after this my r/ship with god would improve a lot.way better..

The theme music of dreams on fire is an excellent composition by AR Rahman. It's very soulful and soothing. Imagine listening to it while u r taking a stroll along the beach at nite alone..

2009-02-21T16:44:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh, jus how much effort does it require for one to type a freaking text msg n then hit the send button.

I think im being put to a test for now. It's not jus the exams tht r taking a toll on me ..but as well as the other baggage issues..which ive yet to find a solution for. God is so evil..now.

2009-02-14T15:03:00.003+08:00

I have always wished i had freedom, the normal freedom any 22 yr old wld be yearning to have, but i guess im just not that lucky yet.

So the most hectic semester of ma life is going to come to an end soon in a matter of few days time.The quizzes, projects, reports, presentations...everything is over except for 3 more freaking exam papers.The thing is..ive yet to recover from all the exhaustion. So untill i recover & re energize im nt gna start to study for my papers yet..n ive got no idea how long is that going to take. But the time im goin 2 spent on studying this time round is really going to be crucial so yea.

In this semester, i got the opportunity to work with ppl whom i din work with earlier.I would say tht it was a very enriching experience working with each and every1 of u. Thanks to all who were ther for me throughout it..u guys know whu u r..coz i dun wish to mention names here for obvious reasons..=)I also got to know so much abt ppl arnd me in class..the negative aspects of coz..the selfishness, the backstabbings, the split personalities, the severe attitude probs, the childish behaviour, the sucking ups..everything u name it.I feel so enlightened.And im so freaking glad tht i handled it fairly well.

I too dun like the cliche tht's associated with Valentine's Day. To me(irregardless of whether im att or not) it's just like any other day juz like the way i deal with my birthdays and deepavalis lol. If i were in a r/sip i would like to think that every moment spent with ur loved one is a special moment.Besides the whole island will b flooded with couples, roses become so popular tdae and then several industries use this occasion to promote their products..haha.I would rather spent my Valentine's day with my friends bcz they mean the world to me & this will never change.

Maybe i should not have sent tht . For a moment i was so so goddamn happy..dancing and skipping arnd the hse like a kid. But thankfully, ive got a friend whu brought me back to reality and made me realise that i should be concentrating on other important matters. I really need to prove things and i cannot afford to side track at any cost. So thank you..darling..

2009-02-11T23:28:00.002+08:00

I want to lie down on the mat by the beach at that time of the day, looking up at the sky dazzling with stars, with the sea breeze blowing against my face, and the waves hitting by...with her by my side talking while the guys go get us our coffee..

I miss u all so much..

2009-02-08T14:36:00.003+08:00

As you all know, my life revolves around my family, friends and my studies. As years passed and after experiencing many valuable lessons at home, i just feel that i cant live with them anymore. I know they have brought me up and all, instilled values and all...but i jus dont want to live with them anymore. I would really want to leave if i really can.I have never been so strong about this untill now.So ya the moment the opportunity comes knocking on my door, im going to pack my things and run away happily haha.

But on the other hand ther's always been a part of me tht jus loves Singapore too much. No matter wher i go, ive always loved Singapore for the way it is.Perhaps, it's too early to say this because ive never lived anywhere else on my own before. I'm longing to live on my own.

Till today, there are so many things that my parents don't know about me as compared to my friends. They don't know anything much..my friends...my likes..my dislikes..my passion...my life...my character.... Now that's very very upsetting.To them all that matters is academics and that i screwed up my A levels.For some stupid reason, they blame it on my friends which i beg to differ.

I can never can be so sure..that these friends are the best ppl ive met in my life. I love them for who they are, what they do...haiz i juz simply love them. I dun think so any1 else knows me inside out as compare to these guys.(I wish i can ...)One thing's for sure, in a friendship guys and only some girls can make a good companion for you to be able to share everything w/o having the need to hold back.It's a beautiful feeling..jus like love.Im not really good in expressing my thoughts, but i do hope these guys know how much they mean to me. I would really want all of us to settle down and be successful together.Every outing is special and nice in its own way if not for some spoilers in the end.

You are a stranger. You are like a passing chapter in my book. But now i would really want to read that chapter, just in case u were all tht i wanted to read.Ive got a really weird feeling about this.I hope i dont lose u the way i lost the others.Surprisingly ive got faith in you.

I felt that the following poems were nice to read.

I LOOK AT YOU by Artemis

Your lovely golden hairs

Your vivid, lively laugh

I look at you - I'm lost

I look again - you're gone

I can see you without eyes

I can almost hear your voice

You look at me - I blush

I look away - you're back

You're talking to your friends

You don't know who I am

I look at you - I'm lost

I look again - you're gone…

A DIFFERENT PATH by Benjamin

It's time to go, to leave this place

A shadowy voice does cry.

But the voice belongs to me alone

,And still I wonder why.

The time is here upon me now

Like a weight, heavy pounding.

Or has it Lifted?

Hard to tell

The Questions keep arising.

The unknown awaits, as it does

For foolish few who dare.

Is it foolishness?

Curiosity perhaps?

Or something I'm not aware.

For I am scared and poignant now

More than ever at present.

Tears cloud my eyes as pen meets paper,

And I hope for my ascent.

I leave behind what I comprehend

And even with all communication.

I know for now without doubt,

I drift, en route a new location.

But who's to say what shall pass

And what still lies ahead.

I only know that were I'm at,

I'll yearn 'till forever dead.

Yet for now theflame still burns inside

However daily dying

.To light the path less traveled b

yIn haste I'm already striding.

But am I running from that I cannot?

Escape from oneself is ever brief.

Before we are again confronted,

Hunting for relief.

Yet still I follow my perilous path

To wherever it might be leading.

And well it may, onto something new,

And strangely more inviting.

Or perhaps not . . .

But who's to know, not I as yet

The fate of anyone on this Earth,

I wouldn't like to bet.

For life can lead in many ways

Often now undesired.

Fate can deal a cruel hand sometimes,

But we play on, cold and tired.

And art is born of life

Hard, dejected and trodden.

Hence emerges exquisite beauty,

And some direction from the coffin

.Finding it is a difficult thing

Sometimes left without thought.

But time it ticks, and years they fly,

I'm sure it can't be bought.

So we search, as do I

For things that bring on the 'morrow.

The weak are those who don't pursue,

And languish in their sorrow.

Happiness is that I chase

And hope to find someday.I

'll count the means again I'm sure,

There is always another way . . .

2009-01-31T19:25:00.001+08:00

I am exhausted like anything. My body is aching like hell. All the muscles are talking to me the moment i try to move any1 of them. I feel like half my body is paralysed. And yet ive got so many things 2 do.Some 1 save me...!!!!

2009-01-28T19:57:00.002+08:00

I think im suffering from a mystery illness. Because no matter how much i sleep, it's never enough. Booster & Berocca doesnt work for me.

I dislike ppl whu spoil my mood, by passing unwanted comments esp when i'm not in a good mood. This bad mood season is going to last atleast for the next few weeks. So beware. Dun b surprised if you see sides of me that uve never seen b4 throughout the time since you have known me.

I also dislike ppl who are selfish and self centred. If you know smth when rest are all cracking the heads, it would b really nice if you could care and share. I know it's a grade issue thingy but really la, if u become so obsessed abt ur grades, then it truly reflects on how u really are, despite the facade u put up in front of others, pretending to be nice and helpful.The world will be a better place if you can care and share and help one another.

In case anyone out ther thinks his/her life sucks, i would like to assure them my isnt too good either. My workload is as high as _______. It's really interesting when u haf so many things to do, but ur fellow tp mates are really enjoying their lives in tp. That sucks..totally.

My scheldue for the upcoming weeks

30th Jan - Make up lesson for lab test
- CM captain's ball tournament ( i regret joining it )

31st Jan - Project

1st Feb - Project

2nd Feb - Medical Device lab test
- Prob solving report submission

3rd Feb - Circuits and Signals Quiz 2

4th Feb - Bioinformatics Individual Report Submission
- Bioinformatics Quiz 2

5th Feb - Meeting MCQ test
- Meeting observation

6th Feb - Submission of meeting minutes

7th Feb - Project

8th Feb - Project

9th Feb - sURPRISINGLY NTH

10th Feb - SURPRISINGLY NTH

11th Feb - Bioinformatics webpage presentation

12th Feb - MCT project submission and demo

13th Feb - Bro is leaving...Boo Hoo =(
- DAY 1 of study week

14th Feb to 19th Feb - STUDY WEEK

20th Feb - MCT EXAM( wht a 1st paper to begin with )

23rd Feb - Circuit and Signals Exam

24th Feb - Medical Devices Exam ( aft this ppr im gna take a sleeping tablet and sleep thru untill when i feel like waking up )

12th Mar - Results Release

24th Mar- Priyalatha Kurusamy turns 22..=)=)=)

2009-01-19T00:08:00.002+08:00

Jus when u realise tht u r going to turn 22 in a few months time and it just felt like u were 21 a short while ago..

ღ Priya ღ says:
i need to bring my ortho brush along
ღ Priya ღ says:
k tht's lame
rev says:
HAHAHAHhahahaha
rev says:
thts damn cute
rev says:
i feel like im lookin after my students
rev says:
with special needs
rev says:
n their ortho toothbrush
ღ Priya ღ says:
wth?

I seriously dun know wht i'll do when this gal leaves for adelaide again, it's time i start saving $$$ so that i can buy ACCESS calling cards. For those of u , who have friends studying at aust, i suggest u buy only ACCESS calling cards becoz the talking time is so Looonnnggg! But still it's not enough for us..

2009-01-07T19:21:00.004+08:00

At times like these, i ask myself if i am doing the right thing?if i am the right place?do i deserve this?is smth really wrong with me?

Sometimes the things arnd u, the ppl arnd u, and everything else just drives you so crazy untill u just feel so exhausted to even do the simplest thing. And it's unfair when the others around you take things so simply, lead a happy go lucky life, have their mates doing their work for them and yet achieve results at the end of the day.

I know life isnt a bed of roses, and i know this notion is going to stay with me for atleast another 10 years or so, untill i am stable in my life. The journey to reach that point is certainly not a easy one, but i am determined to be ther.

If only people speak what's in their mind directly, life would be so much easier.

I dont think so the year has started off well for me.

I was having a long 'lecture' session with my tutor.After that session ended, i left the classroom to take a life to the concourse. Upon reaching the concourse, i felt that my hp wasnt with me. I emptied my bag contents and checked my bag thoroughly and my worst fear came true. My hp was missing. At that point of time, i was shaking and i felt so lost. I decided to contact my tutor so that we could check the classroom because i remembered very well that my hp was with me when i was talking to my tutor. i realised i dont recall my tutor's no, so i had to contact my friend.I approached a few strangers aka tp students to borrow a hp so that i can make a call. After a few unsuccessful sessions, i managed to convince a girl to lend me her hp. But i could only make 1 call.So that had to be a very important call.But i made a few calls la, bcz my friends didnt answer their hp.I manage to get my tutor's no eventually. i decided to use the public phone tp contact him. I realised i din have any 10 cent coins with me. So i bought a drink from the vending machine, i wanted to throw the drink because drinking it was the last thing on my mind.So i took the only 10cent coin i got from the change, and went to make the call. When i was dialling my tutor's no, the 0 key in the public ph wasnt working. Seriously, i felt that i was the most miserable girl in the whole wide world at tht moment. I manage to convince another guy to lend me his hp.Finally i called my tutor and i got back my hp. When i came home and related this event to my bro and mum, all they could tell me was " see la ask u 2 go 2 temple and pray u dun wan". I had no comments on that.

My spec lens came out and the screw for the frame came out too. I feel like a handicap without my specs. I can't follow through my lessons too. That sucks very badly.

I have always been pessimistic and i know it's not good for me.

2009-01-03T23:16:00.002+08:00

The Year 2008

There was a fair share of happiness and unhappiness involved.

January
- Was one of the worst months of my life. There were loads of quizzes, term test, projects datelines and blah blah.
-My LOA for Thaipusam was rejected and apparently the BIE teaching team discussed about it during the meeting, damn embarassing, in the end i juz skipped lessons n came back to sch for Comp prog quiz.
-I confessed about it to all at home, and they were apalled and were very very disappointed with me.
-I missed my close fren's 21st birthday, i kinda chose not to go.

February
- I didn't celebrate Valentine's Day, so another year of singlehood Yay!
- Since it was a leap yr, went to celebrate Jen's birthday. After that i cant remember when the 3 of us hang out together, coz nowadays it's juz me n jen hangin out in sch .
-Semestral exams ended, and although results were not up to expectations, i was okay with it.
- Bro n SIL left for Aust together for studies

March
- The month of numerous birthdays
-I celebrated my 21st birthday.I din receive much presents and im still not too happy about it.

April
-Rev left for studies, and i was so lonely after that most of the time.Access card made my life better for sure.
- Swarnam was kinda a turning point where i got to know more about the Indians in my sch when i got involved in the show.
-I was about to perform in a sleazy dance, which im so glad that i backed out.
-I wished certain friends were ther to watch the show.

May
- I cant believe that i actually sent a parcel to one my friend who is in Singapore, only a few months ago when his bdae was over on May 8. haha
- The CDS module that i took up; Leadership was one of the wise decisions i ever made. I met my eye candy* winks winks* in my leadership class, and my group members were really fun to be with.I never thought that i could enjoy lessons wif other course students.
- I began my pre braces treatment.

June
- Fariz turned 21 lol
- Nth else significant took place

July
- I went Bangkok with mum and bro.It was one of the worst trips because it was mentally torturous because i had my subject issues at the back of my mind every minute.It's so pathetic when that happens, you are out on a trip and you cant enjoy haiz.
- There were too many quizzes and etc.

August
-I started teaching tuition, 2 students in a go.
-Heat turned 21

September
- One of the most memorable months because i got back in contact with my primary school clique, ther are one of my inspirations in my life and they hold a special place in my heart.
- Gangka turned 21
- I din really enjoy my semester break coz i was involved in DRP, wher i was working my ass of in TP's greenhouse.
- I made new friends from School of Applied Science, tht was one hell of a major achievement for me coz im a damn anti social person in sch, i dun make friends easily.

October
- My tution kids were having their exams and whther they were stressed or not, i was feeling the stress for them.=)

November
-New semester began, kinda hectic semester, one of the toughest semester so far.
- Bro came back from Aust...

December
- I became more close with my primary school clique, in the process of organizing one of their's 21st bdae.
- I screwed up my term test, i fell sick during my last papers, and i wasnt really prepared for most of my papers.I din have enough time to prepare.
__________________________________________________

I foresee that im going to be broke for the next few months because ther are too many people's birthdays coming up...Revathis, Jennifer, Emilla, Mum, SIL..all u monkeys arh..hmpfs

I am going to miss 2 impt monkeys when they leave this time round

I also forsee that my present semester is not going to be a good one.

I cant wait for this semester to be over.

2008-12-25T19:40:00.002+08:00

I wonder if im jinxed or not..Cz new yr was boring, my bdae was boring, deepavali was boring, christmas was boring and im very sure new yr's eve is going to be boring too.Besides a boring person like me leads a boring life..so nth new haha.

It's Christmas today, im sitting here blogging and that's very pathetic.If not for a series of unfortunate events that occured over the past few weeks, im quite sure that i would b at granny's place now, celebrating christmas with loads of good food, company and everything else.

You surprise me with ur random msgs.I dont forgive myself for turning u down everytime. It just feels weird.But I hope things get better and easier for us.As for now, im glad that u r arnd.

I can never resist from answering the miss calls. It's easier said than being done.I need you in order to survive. That's how important u are to me.I wish i can tell you that.I will..one day i hope..

Merry Christmas everyone!

Anal Mele Panithuli - Full Song from Vaaranam Aayiram

2008-12-19T16:48:00.001+08:00

I love this song, and i love surya in it too, he's damn hot, this movie makes me even love him more..haha
Now i wish for so many things...

2008-12-17T19:02:00.008+08:00

She knows so many things about me that even my parents, bro or even close friends dun know abt.

She always comes to my rescue with axe oil, the moment my head starts throbbing which happens on a almost daily basis.

She satisfied my hunger pangs which could strike anytime without any warning.

She shared with me a large curry chicken pizza from pizza hut, untill the both of us couldnt wake up n walk anymore.'

Sh ebuys for me stuffs which she knows that i wont use. but she would still buy.

She's the first person to wish me on my birthdays and has hever failed to get me a bdae gift, even if it's something less costly.

She doesnt say NO when i ask her to iron my clothes just few mins b4 i am leaving despite the pre ironed clothes.

She's the one whu takes care of me when im sick, bcz the ppl in my house are all just too busy with work to be bothered abt such 'trivial' matters.
I never had to worry about the weather, food, cleanliness, laundry, phone calls and other stuffs.

She was just ther for me both physically n mentally.

And i miss her a lot now.

I miss u loads Gold.

Yes i know that my blog has been collecting dust for quite some time, now im back to revive it.

UPDATEs

1) Bro has arrived

2) Rev has arrived

3) Hema has arrived

4) Gold has left for india for good.

5) Bavani has left for India

6) Sha n Far ORDed lol.

TERM TESTS ARE OVER!!!!

Exams just make you so exhausted. It has never been so difficult to even start studying untill recently. That shows how much i was slacking and not hitting the books frequently enough during the school days and the weekends.Term test was good, bad, ugly and sour.I am not looking forward to the results and i think im going to take some time to digest them.The worst thing was that i was involved in organizing my friends 21st birthday party, just the weekend before the term test began.That weekends happened to be a crucial period for LMQs( last minute queens like me). But i somehow survived it, by burning loads and loads of midnight oil to the extent wher im looking like a panda now.I think my last paper will be my worst performed paper, bcz i was hit with this really bad SARS like flu, which left me in a drowsy state and the only thing that mattered to me at that point of time was SLEEp.I made huge blunders and it's very frustrating, Bcz it's not that i couldnt do the paper, i know i can do it, but due to my illness i just couldnt focus properly. So yea, anyway wht's over is over and i have to move on...bcz that's what life is all about MOVING ON....

The aftermath of my term test is FABULOUS. I feel as if i have just ended the most toughed semester thus far. But sad to say, it's only mid term and its going to be much more tougher when school reopens and life returns to the mundane routine.

My LOA ( leave of absence) which i applied to Home Affairs Dept for temporary suspension from house work has expired. So yes, im the official maid of the house.I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, aiyah to make it easier EVERYTHING.I know these are all valuable lifeskills which will come in handy in the future. But sometimes im just so exhausted.I cant remember the last time i slept so peacefully w/o being disturbed . And as for working adults whu handle work and housework, kudos to u all man.So my dear friends pls excuse me if im late for ur meetings =)

Back to my aftermath of exams.Ive been goin out everyday untill i had to put a stop to the non stop outing before my mum locks me up outside the house.Exams ended on the 12/12/08 and since then......

( This was the bdae party before exams..the 21st bdae which i had helped to organize and i even performed, trust me it's not easy to start dancing all over again after so long..)

(after exams, i went for my another friend's 21st bdae party)

( Slacked at vivo city for hours cz the god damn rain wouldnt stop)

2008-11-14T22:43:00.003+08:00

Well, if u r reading this so that u can bitch arnd my back abt ma entries, my life, my thoughts, my feelings then jolly well F*&^ off. Yea im telling u.....F*&^ off, but if u insist to cont doing whateva u have been doing, then juz wait bcz one day u r so ..gna get it, as the saying goes wht goes arnd come arnd, oh n dun think no1 is watching u, bcz god is.Do not FAKE, understand?No i still think you wun..why?bcz u dun haf any brains.

Thanks Far, for droppin in tdae, although u came when the party was over, n sorry for making u wait so long and alone in a clueless environment.Fa was trying his very best to blend in2 tp..esp in sch of buisness..we knw y..haha..Felt really gd talking 2 u aft so long... in person.Thanks a lot....really appreciate it. And sha if u r reading this, dun get jealous alright, NTH happened lol.

2008-11-08T00:04:00.002+08:00

Special thanks to CM for the GA videos.

I wish life was less complicated
I wish making decisions was much easier
I wish i hadnt reach this state
I wish i was smarter

I love my lil gang even more now...

I can forgive, but i'll never forget

Thanks to all whu were watching my back..What wld i do w/o u all?

2008-10-31T20:31:00.002+08:00

2 weeks of school has passed.The moment the week starts i'll be looking forward to the weekend, the moment the weekend arrives, i'm like "oh shit mon is gna come." School has been quite hectic with the increasing load of assignments and projects.Ther is just so much of internal politics and backstabbing going arnd in class.

Deepavali was the most boring ever this year. Bcz mum started screaming too much before the days leading up to Diwali..and so that dampen the mood on the actual day. No one went anywhere or did anything great on that day.

I miss quite a lot of ppl, obviously nt my polymates..the others i mean.

2008-10-18T19:56:00.003+08:00

K im dying peepz pls help me!

The painkillers are nt helping me.

So the last person i was talking before i went in2 the room was ran.I went in so happily like a yaya papaya clueless of what was ahead of me. I went in and i was waiting for my dentist to come in2 my room. This waiting time there while u r seated in the long chair can b tortorous, it's like u have to calm ur mind n then psycho it n tell urself everything is gna be okay, u'll b leaving this place very soon.

And then ma dentist came over, she mentioned about doing crowning after the braces is done.I juz nodded for everything. And then she said tht we were gna do extraction for today.I was like pretty cool about it. She asked hw many i wanted to do for tht day. I said 2, and she picked the 2 lucky ones.

The 2 lucky ones were located at my right upper jaw n lower right jaw. The extracton took about an 1 hour. She injected my mouth at various points like for 8 times. By now im so used to the injection, so it's like nth. But yest my whole mouth was numb. I couldnt feel anything right up to my nose. She was struggling for a vey very long long time with both the teeths. And i din get 2 see any of them before they gt disposed i think..so sad.The most painful extraction was the lower jaw one bcz when she was using the forceps i could feel the pain right below my throat despite the numbness. Then she stuffed the gauze and the ordeal was finally over. I left the place like a one sided puffer fish. I was still okay, can smile at the receptionist all. I was clever enuff to take a bus back home. Bcz i din realise blood was dripping all over my shirt and my chin, like really a lt of blood, n i din feel anything. I used up like 3 tissue packets wiping it off every now n then n i kept looking at the road, hoping the bus wld move faster. It's not a nice feeling when every passenger keeps staring at u like , like as if u ran away from a murder scene.

Then i came home. Mum n gold freaked out when they saw the state i was in. I thot my mum was the brave sort, but she so isnt la. Gold..i think if she saw the gauze, she wld have fainted on the spot. Then the whole night i was spitting out saliva and blood in2 plastic bags every 2 to 3 mins and i kept tasting blood all the time till tdae morning. I couldnt eat or drink. As the numbness went off, the pain got even more excruciating and intense.So i just took all the painkillers n went to sleep like a drug addict.

This morn when i wake up, i realise one of ma seperators came out lol. So im currently preserving it a nice cute lil container. My chin is swollen. I cant move my jaws yet. I cant bite. I can only drink water. Ther is gum sores all in my mouth, and the injection points hurt still.

So im in a very very bad mood, easily irritated mood

Timetable for Sem 2.2 is okay.God has been answering my prayers very well hehe.

Mon: 12pm - 4pm
Tue: 2pm - 6pm
Wed: 9am -5pm( mite change)
Thurs: 8am - 6pm
Fri: NO SCH YAHOO!!

Subjects up for this semester are
1) Medical Devices
2) Circuits and Signals
3) Bioinformatics
4) Micro Controller Technology
5) Organizational Communication
6) CDS subject for this sem is Undersatnding theatre..but im changing it.

I miss being able to eat like a normal person, i feel so retarded now. Anyways ive lost my appetite 4 food long time ago which is gd so i can lose weight.

And i miss talking to Animal Planet, i guess we are all busy

Deepavali is just like any other normal day for me. No big deal. The older u get, the more boring it becomes.I'll probably just stay at home n watch tv =)

From 6...to ...3...n nw 2...

2008-09-28T13:11:00.003+08:00

Hee, i cancelled 98% of ma tuition lessons for the week, cz i lost ma ez link card at hme and the other days i just had no mood to teach la.

Cant wait for Dhools to start at 630pm and the F1 race to start at 730pm, other than that im bored to death for the day.

I have yet to clear my study table which is in a mess, really damn messy and the stuffs on it keep piling n piling.

I want to do so many things..

-chill out
-drink coffee
-watch movies
-play luxor
-use access card n talk 2 a monkey in adelaide
-go shopping
-buy slippers
-eat waffle ice cream from NYDC

My dear fren,
i know i dun have any rights to control ur life, actually im nt controlling ur life, ive always supported u for things u really wanted to, but regarding this matter im completely against it.I just cant bring myself to accept that you are with that person.You were not born like that so you don't have to behave like one.I f u were type who really fear about what others might think of u, then u shd have stop whatever u r doing nw. long long time ago.You have younger siblings and you need to set a good example for them.Whether you know it or not, they are looking up to you, following your actions and everything.You cant blame them for not really regarding you as one of their best sister ever, bcz jus look at urself.So i really hope you will stop doing whatever that need to be stopped.I know it is difficult to let go of things that are closest to your heart, but for the sake of your future and for all of us who love you, please do okie?

2008-09-26T15:12:00.004+08:00

Wah..i feel so good, I had a good long sleep after a very long time, of cz it was interrupted by a sudden surge in ma smses this morn, but i handled it very well by not replying to most of them untill i decided to.

I wish i was in some other part of the world so that i can catch the 2 hour season premier of greys anatomy season 5 .=), Or if any1 is willing to download it for me ...i'll love u like i how i love my friends lol.

I need to agree wif some things mentioned in other ppl's blog.

" in terms of assignments and tests, but it just cant be compared to a normal, everyday week ive had during A levels."

( this is so true, to a large extent, but those tortourous 3 years have taught me many things in life, and i guess i am able to handle most of the things that are happening arnd nw bcz i went thru those 3 years, it definitely made me a stronger person, in the sense that i can deal better wif failures nw lol )

"You decide that you do like him and decide to get to know him better, BUT u also realise that it's not really gonna work for one too many reasons but you can't stop yourself from getting closer even though you know its..wrong.God, how many times has that happened? How many times?And to complicate things, the past comes into play. Ex-es (if any), guys whom you had a history with (but couldn't be with for, as mentioned, too many reasons) or that guy whom you never could remove from your life from the day you met him till now.Sometimes u wished things could be a little less complicated. Like you could leave the emotions out of the picture and just go...with the flow"

(If only matters of the heart were less complicated, that would make our lives so much better i guess.The part wher u know it's wrong and useless, but u still pursue it, i wonder why that happens, although u r the one whu keeps gettin hurt in the process , but u still go on.And i just hate the exes, they cant just leave from our thoughts can they?They jus keep appearing man, somehow.No matter how hard we try to forget or forgive it just cant happen..hmm)

"i still would like to fall in love with a guy who knows me in and out as a fren."

and falling in love with that guy is like a sudden moment.its like this best fren of urs goes thru with u ur bad relationships and so do u seeing him go thru his bad relationships and one day it just suddenly occurs to u that hey ur best fren is actually the best companion u can find in ur life but all this while u have been searching outside when the person is right before u.so for that type of feeling to occur it takes years i believe.not 1 or 2 but atleast 5 or 6 or even more than that..and during this period of time he or she is totally being himself or herself.so i feel like its more like what u see is what u get at the end."

(I agree wif what this person has mentioned, i rather fall in love or get married to some1 whom i've known for long enough, rather than to spend the rest of my life with a total stranger.God pls make sure this doesnt happen to me.The friend we are talking abt here, is like ur other half, he prob knows more things abt u than yourself, he just knows you well enough, inside out, ur ugly, dirty, beautuful secrets too.)

"when u date someone i just feel that there is so much need to impress.from looking good to eating proper.in my opinion it gets too fake after a while."

( true enuff, the whole dating matter just isnt my cup of tea, true beauty lies in the heart)

I have successfully manage to skip 2 days of my DRP, because i just cant stand the sight of that bitch, my acting supervisor, since ma actual sup is not in town, i miss him so badly la, u will only learn to appreciate the good things when they r not around.

But i did have my fair share of fun during the torture session.Ther is a whole grp of us who works in the greenhouse office.Myself n my partner whu r doing the so called DRP proj and we r frm sch of eng, and then ther r 2 lecturers (proj sups nt mine); 1 from china and the other namely mr daniel, 1 TSO ( my proj sup whu is out of town); and then 2 guys whu r doing SIP/MP on aquaculture and while they have been waiting for fishes to arrive since duno when, they r currently keepin us well entertained, and then another 2 girls n a guy whu works with us in the hydropincs greenhouse since their SIP/MP is abt hydroponics and their proj sup is my proj sup aka the TSO.So i went to Ikea for lunch in one of the AC guy's car, with the whole group which was a new experience bcz i have never hopped in2 some1's car jus like that haha.Oh and the 2 AC guys they are damn hilarious i tell.They can talk to u anything abt any topics ranging from sex to bra sizes to gfs to gossips, see that's y i told u they r very entertaining!I mange to sneak into Temasek's Animal Facility, i was really curious to see what's inside, ther are rabbits n cats n rats inside.The rabbits ther r being treated like superstars, they've gt ppl to do husbandry for them, they r provided wif regular meals n water, they can give birth, they've got medical attention..wht more can they ask for..so that's y they look damn big and fluffy and cute.When we went ther a rabbit had jus given birth a few days ago, so we manage 2 see the baby rabbits..hehe so fun.And then ther was 1 day, wher we lied to our sup, the bitch, tht we still attending to stuffs in the greenhouse, but we all went 2 the library to watch a movie together, like 6 of us, and the movie we watched was MR WOODCOCK.And guess what Mr Daniel buys lingerie for his sister..i found it damn cute..and we found this out when he flashed out his Triumph & La Senza membership cards haha and we were laughing non stop after that...

The F1 race is definitely hot & sizzling.The cars r hot, the drivers r hot..oohh i wish i was rich enuff to book a room at Fullerton to catch the excitement, but the tv coverage is not too bad either, so i shd settle for that tmr!For now, my support goes out to L Hamilton....I love u darling, pls get in2 the no1 position tmr Muacks.

2008-09-21T20:44:00.002+08:00

Hey revathi, which tweety told u that?That tweety has got a big mouth la, btw i was defending u lol..=)

Ok the whole week was *&^% tiring and damn hectic cz it went by as follows:

Monday : DRP + PP(potong pasir tuition)
Tuesday : DRP + UBI tuition
Wednesday : DRP + PP tuition
Thursday : DRP + UBI tuition
Friday : DRP + an excrucitaing 2.5 hr dental session
Saturday : Temple in the morn, aft n even was " spent walking arnd the whole of SGP"
Sunday : PP tuition + X ray

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About the long walk on sat, i swear all of us were damn mad at Bavani, cz of her dumb directions ah n our attempts to settle the balloon sculpting thingy was futile.The day started badly, cz they gave me the wrong directions to walk to the temple from Lavender mrt, and after walking about 3km under the scorching sun, i felt smth wrong, so i called the idiot (bavani) again n reconfirmed, and then she told me i was supposed to walk in the reverse direction, of cz she forgot 2 mention abt the direction la..damn, i crossed over n took the bus, tht's when i bumped into kyky..

So after the prayers n all, we wanted to settle the balloon deco, so once again according to bav, turf city got 1 shop which specialises in this kinda stuffs la, so we headed to turf city from lavender, took train to Clementi which reminded me of my MI days, and then from Clementi took shuttle servise to Turf City, the shop at turf city was like damn disappointing wasnt like what we expected it to be, besides the boss wasnt arnd n the person ther was useless as she knew nuts abt balloon deco, walau damn irritating i tell u, and then ma friend's mum suggested we shd jus go back home, btw my friend's mum she's damn nice, i really envy my friend 4 that, but then we decided to head back to Bugis area .Oh n that too was bav's suggestion, she claimed that ther r party shops at concourse building, so we took train to er bugis i think from ther it was a long walk to concourse building, n the weather was bad and all of us were in punjabi suit tops, so u cn imagine la, upon reaching concourse building we couldnt find any shops at all, when we enquired at the reception desk, they told us that the party shops have relocated back to sum building la wah...dambn frustrating la haiz. but still the ordeal wasnt over, we walked like about 45 mins to the bus stop we had 2 takes bus from..i came back n hme and tried to sleep cz my legs were aching like hell, but couldnt..

One of these day im gna pass out during my dental treatment, i jus cant stand the screeching sound of the machines when she grinds the teeth, ouch and its damn painful, thankfully last fri she decided to numb the area n do the whateva blah blah treatments for the day, n bill came up to 500 plus, n i came back home wif a half swollen face looking a bruised pig, cz the swelling effect due 2 the numbness hadnt reduced yet..i couldnt even breathe..When i went to do ma X ray tdae, it was only when i had to pay the bill, i realise i din bring my pouch which contained the cc cards n the NETS, i was like oh shit!, n i din even have 10cents wif me, i was that broke..n the place is at Sembawang, ther was no way i was going to go back to bedok n then come back to pay, n the recptionist was improving the situation, she was like "no u haf 2 pay, if not i cannot close the system "So guess what i did? I told her i need to speak to my dentist n jus sat down.She gave me the blank look.When ma dentist came out, she was very understanding she even told me i need not haf 2 pay at sembawang, i can pay at pasir ris and i can take my time..she's damn nice la, u shd haf seen the receptionist face, it was....horrible.

I was very enthusiastic about the DRP (research) project thingy initially, when i was signing up for the diff proj titles and all, but my hopes were all dashed lol, when i got ma project asst. I got "chilled hydroponics technology".OF COURSE i was fooled by the phrase "chilled".So guess hw i spent my DRP, i do seed germination (like so far i think i did once onli), harvesting ( taking out the grown stuff), cleaning (this i do all the time); the cleaning is the tedious part, cz u got 2 clean the tanks, the styrofoam boards tht comes wif holes, and it is filled wif algae, at times ther is oso caterpillar faeces, but the best part is u cant spot the caterpillar.The temperature in the greenhouse is like *&^%.The conditions inside ther are ideal for plant growth not for humans.It's so hot, humid and dry..yucks this kinda weather sucks i tell you and try working in ther for like few hours, u'll get a free tan!So i jus hate the GREENHOUSE!But the onli nice thing abt the whole DRP , is the proj supervisor, he's very flexible and nt demanding lol.I wish i was wif ma classmated in the lab, growing micro___plantlet _____, and they get to work in the lab which is cooler of course. I am more of the lab rat than the greenhouse caterpillar haha. But he did give us some job to do at the lab which i think we'll have 2 cont doing tmr, But calibration is not easy either..it's freaking irritating n a tedious process, so on the whole we are being used as free labour for the DRP project.But the students from AS sch whu r working wif the eng lecturers like doc raja, they r really handling a high calibre research work, damn...I swear i HAVE LEARNT TO APPRECIATE PLANTS MORE!!!

To my dear fren in distress,
sorry 4 laughing at u and making a mockery out of the whole situation while u were crying, but it did help a bit rite, haha, sumtimes we need to laugh off 2 let go of some matters, bcz come on, this is nt the first time we r goin thru this shit n crap, it's a cycle tht goes n on n on, which will continue 2 last as long as we r under their shelter, they haf control over our finance , we r nt married and we are still living here. Although we are 21 yrs of age, we can onli get our freedom when we leave this country and i cant wait for tht day. So dun worry dear, no matter wht happens life has to go on, okie muacks. ( PS: I HOPE U HAVE BROKEN UP WITH U KNOW WHO)

2008-09-12T21:50:00.003+08:00

I THINK VISHAL FROM SATHYAM IS DAMN HOT LA!!!!!!!SIZZLING HOT !!!And it's quite rare that i go ga ga over actors..and the song chellame chellame is so mesmerizing..ohh ahh

K now for the serious stuff,

Results r out, so i can sleep peacefully.My performance is bad. But this were the exact results i had predicted, so nothing shocking or nothing new, except that i was expecting a C for one ofthe subjects.In fact i had just given up studying even before study break started.No momentum,no drive..just no mood to hit the books.These results were based on ma last min preparation so i am very much contented with it, although i know many would not feel the same for me The results wld have showed hw much i slacked for this semester..for ppl whu know me well enuff.Next sem will b the toughest in ma poly life, i need all the help i can from everyone to pull thru the coming semester.

Im not some1 whu lies abt my studying habits or techniques or the difficulty level of the papers.All my comments r honest ones n are from the bottom of my heart.

This time around ther isnt much excitement or oohs aahs abt the release of results.I guess people change a lot.It proves to be a good point wher u really sieve out ur true friends n whu genuinely care about performance, and in fact it's actually quite surprising that they know so much about you and what's happening in ur life w/o u telling about them.So in fact like rev had mentioned, i too shouldnt judge people too quickly without getting to know them better.

As for those whu choose to go MIA, and appear to be alive when school starts it just shows how u treat ur friends n the ones whu really care about u, like a piece of tissue.Is it too much to ask for a reply call or a reply msg?Wonder wher did ur basic courtesy went hiding into!So much for everything, seriously so much for everything. for not giving up in u ppl, and for being concerned, thanks for the treatment!Dun bother feeling guilty or whatsoever cz its worthless to me.

The fact that i turned 21 doesnt seem to b a very good thing. I get headaches too many times within a week untill i lost count,Now the tooth ache, gosh y so much fuss abt a wisdom tooth, y din it grow normally as all the other teeth did..Oh but i feel very wise now..hehe

aftermath

2008-08-28T16:05:00.004+08:00

The aftermath of exams is definitely blissful but to a certain extent...

Exams ended yesterday(wed 27.8) at 1130pm.After that i was hit wif a massive migraine that left me in a daze till the wee hours of the morning.Now that ther's a lot of free time for me 2 idle at home, i guess it's not too good for me to stay at home but then tht's wht i actually always do, i seem to be getting into a lot of arguments lately wif mom, for small matters.

As a matter of fact, ther is no peace at home, which leads to the most important reason for me to want to do complete my tertiary education elsewhere but not here.Canit wait for the day wher i wont have anyone controlling my activities n telling me what to do, and piling my workload...the moemnt they know my exams have ended.Within 5 hours ive gt a list of like 6/7 things to do damn..i cant imagine hw the no's r going to multiply in the next 7 weeks of my break.

I really really wanted to do a lot of things

-spend more time with you(A)

-meet you(B)

-catch up wif u (C)

-juz go out wif only the 2 of u (D n E)

ADCDE are all diff persons..

The one thing that i really wanted was..to go to the USA study trip.For the first time ever, finance was given a green light, so i was really looking forward to enrolling myself.But my buddies tht it was expensive, but i felt like it was quite reasonable for a 2 weeks trip.Further more chances are atht i'm never ever going to smell USA in next upcoming years of ma life, so i was actually quite disappointed.

Before exams began. i had a lot of things running thru my mind, which kinda affected my preparation for exams, so i was ill prepared for all my papers.Truly..So when the results arrive. im gna b erm i duno let's juz say i'll b contented if my gpa remains above 3.5.Im jinxed every semester to definitely haf a C grade in ma results no matter wht, but this sem..let's hope it doesnt happen..

So he called me out of the blue, and came up wif this movie plan thn we shd go out n all, but as days pass he din call or he din msg, im not surprised bcz it happens all the time.In fact im sure hes gt better things to do with other cousins, other friends, other soccer mates, and other cca mates, besides most of the clan's bdae fall on september if im nt wrong..

Im anxiously waiting for my tuition fees, but i damn paiseh n shy to ask bcz..nvm, n the best thing is i dun even know hw much tey r gna pay me, but trust i do wnjoy teaching the kid although she can be a major nuisance at times.Her younger siblings OMG, they r so manipulative, in fact they r oso so rude n their words r actually quite harsh to the point wher they manage to insult me bcz their tutor(a diff one) is a uni undergraduate and she drives n so being in a UNI is sucha big deal for them afterall, im only in a diploma, so they manage to convince themselves tht their tutor is much better than me..damn.I felt like slapping the kid's face but i dun haf any right to so, so i juz sulked saying "i dun care!"But one thing they r very very RUDE.

I've got this sore throat after eating a mango that cost 3.90 according to mum, n the throst hurts so badly untill i cant sleep at nite, it's jus so painful and i really wish i can reach out 2 my throat n pluck it n throw it away.My body's immune system which has been constantly failing, has gt no hope of recovery i think.It's time i invest in some multi vitamins to build up my immune system.The amount of phlegms i ________ is way too much, untill it leaves me wondering,,wher do all this liquid come from?Dun tell me it's the amount of water i drink in a day, or maybe i have those sinusitis prob which is probably y i have headaches like 4 /5 times in a week.

OH guess what! He LOVED the book.woohoo.I think im the onli one whu knows him the best in this world.Hw i wish i ca tell him that haha.He stayed up late at night juz to read the book n finish it for days although he was in camp.and MIND YOU bcz this is indeed a big issue as we r talking abt a person whu doesnt read anything else other the sprts section of the NEW PAPER.haha I feel so proud of myself hee hee.Im all smiles nw when i think abt it.

Yathra shw started of well, but it gt more n more boring later on.I was really falling asleep, i wonder hw cum ran was awake n she seem 2 b very entertained by it..hmm..we left at 11 bcz i stay at EUNOS, n i need to get back home frm nus..b4 it's too late, n i was cashless cz i spend a bomb on the taxi fare to Clementi, cz tht i was gna ba late for a "good" show..HE went for the show too, but i din see him lol.

The new paper version 2.0 sucks big time.TV is boring.Internet is boring.My social life is 0, nw i understand y far keeps associating me wif dr chia..lol..hey but atleast hes gt a family dude..

Tdae is TUESDAY!!I gna call rev n talk many many..

2008-08-17T15:46:00.009+08:00

Wow blogger's dashboard is different nw..hehe for the better..looks more pleasing to the eyes lol.

I LOST MA FREAKING PCB BOARD AFT ITS GRADING!!!ARGH>>>HARDWORK WORTH ! SEMESTER ALL GONE SIA!!!

MAGNUM...CAN U RESIST THE TEMPTATION, aft yest nite's msn conv wif lil gang, i dun think i'm ever going to eat magnum ice cream animore, the 2 monkeys aka Fariz n Shahid, have simply brought a whole new diff meaning to Magnum ice - cream n the spokesperson Eva Longoria hahaha..Thkz ah peepz...

Im glad to have them as my friends..in fact they r bestest guy friends any girl can get in this world, so i shd consider rev n myself LUCKY..

lub u all loads..n i miss u all loads

( i found this pic n i told myself i had 2 scan it,

haha..spot the extra in the pic!!)

( of cuz tis is the best pic eva..i intend to get it

framed, im serious k)

(looks + intelligence + character =?)

(the fantastic 4)

(im so glad that, that episode of our life is over)

(hey revathi persumal, sikkuram vaadi,i miss u

alot...)

(haha..;p)

2008-08-11T19:33:00.002+08:00

k i hate this feeling..i hate it totally..

I was fine doin my own work, minding my own issues, coping things well in all areas..but nw i dun haf the mood to do anything, no mood 2 study, no mood 2 eat...

If it was me in the past, i wldnt haf simply brushed all this matters aside, and get on moving, but now i cant, juz too difficult to block my mind...

It's my lab test tmr which i have decided to *&^% care abt it, bcz i have juz done too much for this subj already, now im juz gna leave things the way it is..

To all out ther, u ppl dun leave with me 24/7 , so u knw nuts abt me, hence dun judge me based on who i look like, basically dun think i'm like my mum because i look like her, i mean obviosuly if im her daughter i wld haf to look like her if nt ther's smth really wrong...if u really know me well inside out, then u wld haf realised long long time ago i'm nt like ma mum...

I kinda feel down, cz u made me feel like im the lousiest person on earth, i think i'm quite old enuff to discern right from wrong, but u made it sound like i've alredy tarnished the family's repututaion, when i havent done anything at all, this is wht i get in confiding in u, and unfortunately i wasnt ready to hear all this from u, from u esp ..some1 whom i thot wld know me well

My hp's keychain snapped in2 2...haha juz like the way our friendship did, which is prob y things u gave me din last as long as it should, im not surprised, hope u r doin well, so much for some1 whu said he/she wouldnt change even when he/she is attached.

Guys r a bunch of jerks (not all of cz), Seriously dun know hw u peepz can change so drastically over the years, i hope the guys i know are not like that.I know such things happen in town, but this is the first i hear of such a thing happenin so near me...I am very very troubled of ur behaviour.

For nw i wish i can teleport to somewher far away from all this...i'll bring along those whu wan 2 come along...wif me though =)

2008-08-02T21:59:00.002+08:00

Well so much haf happened..

Anyways 2 more weeks of sch. n then a study week followed by exams, juz cant wait for this semester to end.

I'm so glad, that i chose leadership as ma cds subject for this sem, cz i've made such gd friends wif ma grp members.It kinda helps that wed comes right aft tue.Atleast my dosage of laughter account wld b settled on wednesdays.

I cant believe u r mine now, not really mine, but i know u r juz ther, i clearly know this whole thing is wrong, but somehw i want it so badly, u prob dun knw hw special u r yet, but that depends on the future( dun worry peepz im still single lol )

And as for u, every time i talk 2 u, i swear i feel so guilty for not telling u wht had happened, no idea y i feel so guilty, but u will always be part of my life no matter wht, maybe tht's y..

I miss ma daddy so much, and yea hes coming back on the 6th, gosh tht's like 2 month plus..hmmm

tht's all 4 nw..

2008-07-17T23:32:00.002+08:00

Im dying day by day .Medical electronics has been absorbing my brain juices untill i have nth left nw i think.I cant wait for this semester to be over as soon as possible.Sch is driving me crazy.Every tue betw the 2pm - 6pm, i never fail to doubt my intelligence to the extent where i'll b asking myself y the hell i m here..yes it is that bad.But im hangin on bcz i know im nt alone in this, i really hope god is watching all this lol..

Bro came n left once again, so nw it's juz me, mum n gold, although the house is pretty quiet , i kinda like the serenity.

I wish i wasnt this stupid.

2008-07-11T12:20:00.001+08:00

HI!!!!!!!!!!
and
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!

Im goin off to bangkok, will b back on monday at 730 plus pm..

Take care peepz

2008-06-20T14:32:00.013+08:00

Finally i went to Sentosa last week!!!!!!!

(me, melissa, jennifer)

(L-R, jonathan, jeremy, hafiz, chen kwang, choon yee,

samatha, rachelle, melissa, muself, yuhan n wan quan )

(titanic went pass so v were busy waving..)

(guys being guys...)

(tallest 2 the shortest? haha)

(the asses )

(he's ma msian bf..lol)

(the guy in yellow simply refused to get his hair wet

but we din oblige..)

(sentosa class poster)

Im proud to be part of the I703 !!!!

2008-06-19T22:48:00.002+08:00

I have successfully completed 3 dental appointments consisting ov numerous fillings, im so proud of maself.Each completed dental visit brings me a step closer to getting my braces.the braces part its way too complicated than i thought it wld be.Looks like im gna b able to retain my k9 or canine tooths still =).It holds a sentimental value for me.The dentist oso mentioned that my face will look diff after than, n im wondering hw uglier is it gna get? Lol.

Doing project alone. can b irritating, calming n thereupetic as well.If onli ther was transparent glue tht doesnt leave ugly residues behind i'll b so glad.Adding on 2 that somehw the workload of other projects tht i din volunteer to do completely everything have ended up on ma head as usual, and me being the nice person always, will juz do what is needed.

I wish i hadnt known anything about the Director's list at all.To others it may seem nth, but to me it really means a lot.I feel so lousy, stupid n ..blah blah...But then ther's nth much u can do esp when 60% of ur cohort of 60 plus r having gpa scores greater than 3.5 damn, bcz all of us r too academically inclined i guess.This is reality n im gna accept it.What matters is that i maintain my gpa, and make it into e local uni, so that i can tear their acceptance letter into bits n pieces n blow them away n say bye bye n go 2 overseas.Yeah!Thank god i've gt amazing lecturers like mr lok whu keeps on motivating me do my best each time.I'm so grateful ive met such lecturers in my tp journey.Anyways congrats to those whu have gotten themselves in2 the Directors list.

I've received 2 calls for the week that made me go what?! One from ma dad frm India juz to say that my so called 'father in law's' (onli gna happen over my dead body) youngest son is about 2 pursue pilot training, and my dad was like laughing all e way on the ph la.

And i went " i hope u din say anything 2 him after that rite"
He said " no i juz kept quiet but i cldnt stop laughing and thinking about u n ur thing towards pilots"
I said " no pa, i think i dun like pilots anymore, n comon u called me juz 2 tell me this, u r e world's most cutest n evilest dad ever"

The 2nd call was from gold .She was so happy that 2 love birds decided to stop by my bedroom window, untill she was whispering and asking me if i can hear them chirp.I was like what..the..here im after my dental appt feeling retarded bcz my left jaw felt awkward n i kept biting to ease tht feeling. Ppl r so weird.When i came back home i discovered that she had try to capture one of the love birds in a temp shelter n offered apple slices which i think was when the bird took its oppurtunity to fly away.Currently gold os higgin the tv when mum goes for N shift bcz she jus loves watching black n white 70s tamil movies.

Bro piggy is cuming over tmr, so i told the foodstuffs to hide.

2008-06-11T20:07:00.001+08:00

What Priyalatha Kurusamy Means

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.

Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.

Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.

You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.

You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.

You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.

People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2008-06-09T18:32:00.004+08:00

Oh man its' really tough to refrain my fingers from immediately reacting to the miss call or msg.Maybe i should tape them or smth haha

I finally watched Transformers, ya i know im very SLOW.I must say tht it was defintely an excellent movie, the next best movie after I am Legend.I'm in love with machines n i would wan 2 own my own version of Bumble bee one day..k tht's juz an fantasy!!

2008-06-08T01:42:00.003+08:00

Guess wht peepz,

Pacofen + Coffee + Redbull = A successful burning e midnight oil session

which was hw i manage to survive this whole week miraculously.Boy tht was one hell of a week.Probably the most intensive one too.The papers were bad.The graph for my performance will b a slope from up to dwn. Oh gosh i hate the medical electronics paper, for the first time ever i m going to see a F grade for my subject, a important milestone in my tp academic history, of course tht can b avoided if some miracle happens.

After goin thru so much i deserve a so called break right but guess wht's in store for me for the 2 week break

1) molecular genetics chromosome packaging project
2) biophysics debate preparation
3) leadership grp asst proposal =)=)=)
4) Medical Eln EEG research
5) Find a perm part time job
6) Find for tuition assignments

I MISS MA DADDY LOADS.2 MONTHS IS *&^%$ long la! Ran i miss u too

oh ya n i miss some1 else too the buddy whu was sittin beside me in class.Hw nice wld it b if only he was my classmate in tp as well?

ღ| Priya | ღ says:
i miss u far
fA|thefrontdoor| . chill,ma man . says:
miss u too pri

PS: he's a good boy nw!

Congrats rev on ur new addition to the hse.

IF u r some1 i know, n u r quite close to me, i expect u 2 stay in touch with me get it?

Thaen Thaen-Kuruvi (DVD Quality)

2008-06-04T20:54:00.001+08:00

2008-05-28T23:29:00.002+08:00

Im sure all of us have a story to share about the making of our pcb boards.Mine was initially filled with sadness n disappointments n ended of with triump today.I wish i could stand at, sch of eng concourse, n scream "I m done with ma pcb board fabrication!!" at the top of my lungs, bcz i did went thru tht much.

Term tests r next week.5 papers, 5 days, 5 same timings.it's goin 2 b mentally & physically exhausting, but im gna try my best.

Well i detest ppl whu claim they dun study in frnt of u, but at hme tey r working their ass off, thus tey get good results.Since i hate them so much, i wouldnt do sucha thing too.Im some1 whu can b still flipping thru ma notes when e ppr is about to start in a few mins time.Well i even had topics to cover, few hours before my A level exams which pretty much accounts for my 'excellent' results.So if i happen to do well despite my insufficient preparation, it can b due to many other reasons.

Dad's left.Mum's gna leave.Bro left long time ago.So it's party time!! Hw i wish, but i got my term test at that time.What a spoiler!!so any1 wan 2 come over for a stayover lol.

2008-05-14T21:17:00.002+08:00

For some reason sum ppl dun sound happy, but since i dun haf any right to ask, i cant do anything about it.

Oh MY GOd MY HEART JUZ SHATTERED IN2 BIT & PIECES AFTER I HEARD THAT, I SWEAR NTH WAS GOIN IN2 MA BRAIN AFTER THAT..PASSAGEWAY BLOCKED!I JUZ LOST MA MAIN MOTIVATION TO GO TO SCH ON WEDNESDAYS...

I think it's like the soccerball case scenario lolz..orh...hot stuff..

BTW tdae's APEL ( applied principles for effective living ) class was enlightening we talked, more like had a open conversation open peer pressure & sex .When our careperson asked "so many of u all are against having sex b4 marriage", guess what to my horror only a few of us raised our hands like 3 or 4 out of 22 of us.My cultural upbringing (to a certain extent) n ma moral values(to a great extent) have influenced ma decision.But i dun have anything against ppl whu think otherwise, juz remember that nth is definite today & anything can happen tmr so make sure u have thought through well abt the consequences..

life

2008-05-14T10:00:00.000+08:00

My mind did slip a bit but thankfully it's back on track.But im feeling disturbed & confused, hope it subsides on its own.

Oh ya BTW welcome to the world of f-ed up ppl, bcz u neva know who is goin 2 do what next, this world is filled with lots of unpredictable matters.

A HUGE THANK YOU to ma classmates Jen & Emmz, i seriously don knw what i'll do w/o both u guys..Maybe my life wld have been a bit different if u guys were wif me in MI, but i did had good company ther too.Thanks for advising me on everything n anything, u r ppl whom to i can talk abt anything under the sun n be myself.Mean a lot to me..Muacks haha..

I have another long weekend break cuming up dur to Vesak day..fri no sch..sat & sun weekend..mon Vesak day, looks like god has answered ma prayers, need to go to the church damn, need 2 clear stuffs from ma head.

Jus promise me that no matter what happens, u would hear me out first b4 cuming to any conclusion, pls..

2008-05-11T00:00:00.002+08:00

According to them,

it seems that i am having a major attitude problem.Being quiet means trouble...being loud means rude...so shall i b dumb then?

After doing so much, tey still complain...

How i wish i had sch durin the weekends or tht i was stayin in a hostel.

Is it so wrong to convince every1 for a family trip?

Well i asked if u were free but i guess u haf made plans, or ur other friends haf planned things for u so enjoy urself then.Wish u all the best fren.Happy 21st birthday..to ya.

Can u pls come back ASAP cz i'm dying w/o talking 2 u..

Vennilavae Vennilavae sad

2008-05-04T00:19:00.001+08:00

2008-05-03T15:03:00.002+08:00

And so everytime i walk out of the dentist room, i feel as if i had juz completed an A level paper..cz it's so scary n painful..n gosh money spent for each
consultation + whateva tht happens in ther=freaking expensive
and hearing words like root canal + crowning and so on...oh god juz makes me wan 2 disappear frm the long chair thingy..i was alredi feeling nt so gd tht i think i wld haf juz cried while she was doing my filling, nt bcz of the pain but bcz of some other stuffs...but i shd b getting ma metallic smile soon so tht's wht matters...

2008-05-03T00:59:00.002+08:00

I lay on the floor like shattered bits of glass pieces..and ppl continue to walk on me..

I feel terribly lonely at this point of time

I cant wait for u to come back 2 tell u so many things

Whateva has happened, it's all fated, n i think it's too late to mend things

" No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it, eventually the lies fall away. Whether we like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts, so we lie."

" Too often the thing you want the most is the thing you can't have. Desire leaves us heart broken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who"

"If there's just one piece of advice i can give you, it's this - when there's something you really want, fight for it, don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you've lost hope, ask... "

(my favourite)
"The thing about plans is they don't take into account the unexpected, so when we're thrown a curve ball, whether its in the O.R. or in life, we have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at..."

Ellen Pompeo as Dr. Meredith Grey

Swarnam 08 Storm

2008-05-01T21:54:00.001+08:00

2008-05-01T01:30:00.022+08:00

I juz came back from kyky's bdae chalet.Bonded a lot wif daddy haha.Was hangin out wif him all along in the chalet..ya i knw i gt no life..bcz the rest were bz entertaining others, the beach was sucha nice place 2 chill tdae..

(daddy lous..)

My mood has been all over the places lately.I think the closest buddies in ma class wld haf never seen this side of me so far.I have been cursing, swearing, passing all kinds of unwanted comments at the wrong times, using loads of vulgarities, snapping, bitching...aiyah u juz name it la i've been thru it all..I'm so sorry k..i'll try to b back to ma normal mode.

I skipped Eng maths 3 tutorial, this week, so tht happens to be the first skipped lesson for this semester.But guess wht the tchr marked all of us as present =), so i guess we were damn lucky la.Back to y i skipped maths tutorial it was bcz of kyky's bdae celebs @ ITAS canteen.The cake gt delayed..guys as usual dun haf punctuality so we all knw wht wld haf happened.

( while we were waitin 4 the cake wif the bdae boy....)

(the bugs bunny tooth appeared when he saw e cake)

(cuttin e cake... )

(

From L-R:martin, kavin,viky,shahul,aravind, mani)

(look at kavin's lost look..)

Swarnam last Sat was ok..onli ok..mind u ther is lots of room for improvement.I did ushering wif a bunch of strangers which was weird but i manage to make new frenz, but then sadly they r all alumni..so much for the new bonds...But the D BOYS totally rocked the show man the singing, the storm everything was great..Gd job guyz!Wearing heels with a sprained ankle was torturous

2008-04-23T20:25:00.002+08:00

I'm sick to the core, i cough regularly every few secs, i cough n cough untill i think ma intestines r gna come out soon.I cant hear ma own voice, n i sound horrible lol n i cant wait for hit the bed the moment i end sch...

Sch is okay but boring, i gna hit the books this week..although Swarnam is this Sat..which i dun giva *&^% damn about...

The leg is gettin better thankfully cz i dun wana go for a op but i feel the muscle pull every nw n then n i cant really handle the stairs..

2008-04-22T21:43:00.002+08:00

I TWISTED MY ANKLE, IT'S DAMN PAINFUL, I CANT WALK, I'M HOPPING ARND THE HOUSE, THE PPL IN MA HSE CANT SUPPORT ME CZ IM TOO HEAVY, I'M CRAWLING MY WAY UP N DWN THE STAIRS, BUT I'LL B HEADING TO SCH TMR SO YEA..WISH ME LUCK..OUCH AGAIN

2008-04-17T21:36:00.003+08:00

After much waiting my timetable is out;i dun haf sch on Friday!!!!!!!MY cross disciplinary subject is Leadership muahaha

The subjects for this semester are :
1) Molecular Genetics
2) Engineering maths 3
3) Networking Fundamentals(sounds yucky)
4) Biomechanics and Biophysics
5) Medical Electronics
6) Leadership
7) Apel 2 (nt impt dun care)

My sch hours are:
Mon 9-4

Tue 10-5

Wed 8-4

Thurs 8-7 (suckiest day of the week)

Fri NO SCH (best day of the week)

I really appreciate the fact tht Jennifer msged me abt the release of our timetable, and gave me a short n sweet sneak preview of wht to expect for this semester.Tht msg was solely enuff for me to wake up from my sleep.I thot she wouldnt bother msging especially aft i ignored her east coast cycling trips, i tink bcz of me tey still havent gone cycling lol..So sorry okie..we'll go one day..muz understand la i haf a monkey whu's leaving for Aust soon, so i need to spent time wif her...

After wht happened yest at abt 950pm at GWC, i think i can handle any amount of tht kinda situations.Whateva happened after tht was all fated.If it's meant to be it will b, if not never mind.. But i think it looks better this way..hehe, dun worry my dear fren no matter wht happens nth will happen to our friendship.It's called socializing lol.

PS:It is so damn difficult for girls to express interest towards the opp sex..damn

CURRENT ADDICTIONS

Song : Jhoom Barabare Jhoom
Coffee : Caramel coffee blended frm Coffee Bean
Cake : Chocolate Amer frm Starbucks
Burger: Mcspicy burger frm Macs

And guess wht KYKY i knw wht to get 4 u for ur bdae which is like Wow.cz usually it's a on the spot thingy..

Im goin to learn to peel prawns using fork n spoon

When something good happens, something bad has to happen at the same time, n the ugly do peeks in our life evry nw n then

THE GOOD

NO sch on Fridays
I have sold 13 tickets for Swarnam
I have finished watching all the episodes of Greys Anatomy till wher it has stopped

THE BAD

My sch strts at 8am on wed n thurs
Rev's departure(i hate u 4 this)
Animal planet's departure(i hate u as well)
I still dun knw wht i'll b doin on swarnam day
I want 2 go shopping but no 'che ching'
I think i got more subjects to handle this semester

THE UGLY

I hate her for scolding me
She seems 2 b more closer to them
She's gt their team jersey while i am still begging for one
She changed her no but din inform cz i guess i wasnt one of her frenz
Oh well nw she's even working wif them

So im goin 2 watch frm a safe distance n pretend everything is normal n fine, if tey were to ask me wht's wrong i'll tell them "do u all even care?"

For those whu ignored my Swarnam invitations n came up wif the not so convincing excuses i knw hw 2 deal wif u all if u eva come 2 me for any favour, it's called tit for tat.