Friday, July 03, 2009
Sorry for my absence bcoz sch's been keeping me busy. And ive begin writing entries on a diary because there are so many things i want to say & i dun wan 2 say it here for obvious reasons.
PS: Im writing the following in a right frame of mind, im not emoing, im not pmsing, im doing fine at the moment.
" Do not waste today in anticipation of tomorrow. Live now."
Whenever we face the truth that the end is drawing nearer, we fail to accept it and tell ourselves that its happening too fast and that we havent lived our lives completely yet.Simply because every day was spent fulfilling duties, doing work and etc.If we were to allocate some time each day and do things you genuinely love, you'll never have to worry about the end, because deep down you know you have lived your life and appreciated everything that you had to.
So peeps, If ther's anything you have always wanted to do, but a certain some1 or circumstances have been preventing you from doing so, now is the time to do it, because life is short and you never know what is going to happen next.
I will never ever want to go through that awkward situation ever again. Ive never felt this lonely before despite being surrounded by closest group of friends.Ive never ever felt like that before in my entire life. I would rather ....than to have go through that again.
This is going to sound selfish, but here it goes. Thanks to my bro's absence, this gave all of us at home a chance to bond. We've never been this close and we actually rarely have a meal together as a family, and i only see my parents on a occasional basis.But despite all these, we did share our happiness, sorrows, anguish..jus everything.Ive always worried about how im going to survive, leaving everything behind and going abroad to further my studies, and if that happens i'll miss home and my family the most.
Thanks to you, ive been enlightened & im more independent. =)
I think you have gone thru enough for the year, and somehow he is just putting you to a test because he knows you can overcome this. You are brave and i know you will. Restricting yourself is going to be very difficult, i understand and i'll be there for you no matter what happens. We are in this together.Dude, everything happens for a reason right, SMILE!
Mp has been mentally and physically tiring. No one will ever understand the pain & the frustration one has to go thru and put up with unless you are also doing your Mp. The process of getting to school, i mean dragging myself to school has become a chore. It's also getting more and more difficult to do it. I need help.
I know it's not easy handling our project. We all have different working styles and we have to work it our somehow putting our differences aside. Take responsibilities for your actions. Help each other whenever and wherever possible. This is a team game, so every member and his/her input/output matters and we will make it matter.Hold on and Endure and we'll get thru it jus fine k.=)
MP TEAM, Chung Ming, Choon Yee, Emilla, Fen Nee, Chen Kwang and all others,Thanks People, not sure if you guys are aware, somehow your little actions or words of encouragement has made me survive my mp journey thus far... Thanks for the Support and i hope you'll continue to do so in the months to come. Peeps catch me when im falling, k..=)
He's got a whole component store database up in his mind. He "owns" a PhD in biomedical geekotronics. He reads Harry Potter. He spents hours sitting with you to troubleshoot your circuit but sadly to no avail.He "scolds" you but in the end of it all he gives you a priceless smile.He takes ages to reply urgent mails.He painstakingly answers all your dumb questions. He knows Eagles Software in his fingertips.He makes me feel helpless and dumb with his presence.He communicates via Geekotronic language. He makes mental calculations when it comes to engineering maths, hence he doesnt need a calculator.He knows all the lab equipments as if they were their friends.Programming is his forte. Soldering iron cooperates with him so well. He uses soldering iron so well, jus like a pen.He makes hours pass by like anything on Thurs & Fridays.
Hey mister i missed you today. LOL!
My headache is controlling me.I wouldnt be surprised if i had tumour up ther or anything, becoz i did go thru tht intensity of pain, its not easy enduring it and pretending like it's not ther.
-our
love story ;
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The signs are changingThe planets are moving
And im fading...
My current situation is the best reason i can offer to explain why i choose to block away certain people in my life, its becoz once im too close with em, i find it so hard to let go of em, and tht wher it hits me damn badly leaving me shocked and dumbfounded.You thot you knew em so well but actually the truth is that u merely assumed things for urself.Becoz the trust tht u haf built will jus vanish one day within a blink.And when that happens the word solltude is perfect to describe what's left , if ther is any anyway.
I should give a shot at acting, bcoz ...
There are so many things i wish to accomplish, and with u not by my side, the future looks bleak.
-our
love story ;
Friday, June 12, 2009
"It's never going to be the same is, it"..though it seems like nothing has changed, but loads of things have changed in my view. As much as im going to adapt, i too am going to change . Gonna be less dependent and distant, bcoz it's all part of the game.
I figured out the above was too short to qualify as my entry..hence i decided to edit it. =)
Ive never appreciated my family this much before untill lately.I realised how much ive missed and the fact tht i should have heed their advice long before..so that i wont be suffering this much today in silence.I thot they will never know bcoz they dont usually make an effort but this time round i was caught off guard. They actually know something is wrong adn they asked me about it. But i din tell anything because it will affect so many other things, things which i stood wrongly by, once.
Why is that when the future reveals itself, its nowhere near what we have imagined it to be. It's all my fault & i should have seen it coming so that i could have been better prepared. not like now, im simply suffocating and i cringe at the very thought of it, i cant explain this in words, i wish i knew how to express me feeling in a form of art, trust me i would have done an amazing job.
WHY?ONLY 1 INTAKE????I WAN TO GO RIGHT AFT I GRADUATE!!!DAMN..
ithu varai nenjil irukkum sila thunbangalai naam marapom
kadikaram mul tholiathu thodum vanam varai poi varuvom
adai mazhai vasal vanthaal, kaiyil kudai indri vazha veipom
adayalam than turapom, ella thesithilum poi rasippom
~Pala Pala from Ayan
Genting trip was ok, it would have been better if not for the company.Did a lot of thinking bcoz despite the comfy seats i jus couldnt sleep, even now i still cant sleep.
.
-our
love story ;
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
- Feminine and yet masculine, truly one of a kind...
- I cant believe i had spent so much of lifetime thinking about you, but i cant breathe without you
- It's never going to be the same, is it?
we spent our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future, as if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow, but the future is always changing, the future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes, but one thing is certain, when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it.
to love each other even when we hate each other
did u say it..i love you, i dun wan 2 ever live without you, you changed my life, did u say it, make a plan, set a goal work towards it, but every now n then look around n drink it in..it might all be gone tmr
when something begins, you generally have no idea how it's going to end
did u say it? i love u...i dun ever wanna live without u.. u changed my life...did u say it?..make a plan, set a goal.work toward it..but every now n den...look around..drink it in..coz..this is it! it might all be gone tml.
-our
love story ;
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I think its about time i stop putting others before self and worrying too much about other ppl and their actions and focus on where i want to be and what i want to achieve within the next few years. It's for my own good and to avoid any more disappointments to come.I need a break, thankfully ive a term break coming.if ther's a time i wish i can be in some other place away from all this and be very very far away it has to be right now, the ultimate perfect moment. And dun ask me why, but i just refuse to accept the way things are going to be.Oh and ther's no such thing as a happy ending, or a forever or a till death do us apart, coz ther r all BULLSHIT!
Take me somewher far away....
-our
love story ;
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sorry peeps ive been mia for a very long time.My last entry dates about more than a month ago.My absence from the blogging world ahould explain how things arnd me are keepin me busy.
My Cambodia trip which lasted from the 19th to 26th Apr was a very enriching one.I thank god and some of my friends, bcoz if not for them, i wouldnt have signed up for the trip.In fact as th 19th was drawing nearer and nearer, i was dreading a lot.Mainly because it was the first time in 22 years that i was leaving away w/o anyone close following me along, and that too for 7 days along.I was also amazed at how much i was freaking out about my trip.I felt so sad, actually nver been tht sad for a very long time.
Eventually Priyalatha survived the Cambodia trip.I made a whole bunch of friends and i got even closer to my coursemates whom i dun even acknowledge during normal school days.I cried during the last nite at PKH as i was really moved by their act of kindness and sincerity towards us. I wasn't expecting to cry but i cried lol.For now, i really miss the students and their warmess.I really hope i can go back there some time in the future and once again render my services.
The experience back there has really taught me to treasure even the little things in my life. I really love my family and friends a lot. Words jus cant describe how much i missed them during ma trip.I was very homesick during the initial period of stay but things go way better as days went by. I am proud to say that i am now not so afraid of insects, bcz in Cambodia, i interacted with all kinds of them from the small ones to big ones, colourful ones, scary looking ones, weird cross breeds, I cant really recall how many of them i slept with in my sleeping bags. I have never used this much of insect repellent in my 22 years of life b4. The best insect award goes to the one tht Jen killed when we were in the hotel room, which emitted a kind of metallic smell tht stinked the dustbin.
To my dearest lil gang members, thanks for coming down to the airport to recieve me.I was really caught by surprise.I am not sure abt how u guys regard me as but to me, you'll always be my special ones whom i hold on to very dearly and keep you close to my heart. Nothing will ever change between us till death do us apart.PS: Please make sure u really know wht u r getting urself into,its not the right time to experiment other species.
There is this one person, in my life whom i seldom get along with 365 days 24/7 all the time. But i think we both missed each other alot during my trip.The very fact that we missed each other loads signifies that we really love each other alot.It is just that the way we show and reciprocate is different of coz, if u know wht i mean.I realise everything happens for a reason.God just
includes some people in your life to teach you many valuable lessons.
"this is how the story went,
i met someone by accident
who blew my away blew me away
it was in the darkest of my days
when you took my sorrow, took my pain
and buried them away, and buried them away
i wish i could lay down beside you
when the day is done and wake up to ur face
against the morning sun
but like everything ive ever known
you disappear one day
so i spend my whole life hiding my heart away"
I pin so much of hopes on you, but not once or twice, all the time u nver fail to disappoint me. Despite that and everyone's advices, i cannot understand why i find it so difficulot to move on. Actually im quite sure i'll be able to soon.Just when everything seemed so perfect, this has 2 happen.It's like some kind of disaster.
Mp is killing me everyday.I feel extremely dumb and stupid due to my inability to perform up to his expectations.I fear for the overall outcome of my MP grade which is worth 17 credit units. I really need to do well in this, but it dwells on me that im putting in all i can to the extent that im beginning to get exhausted. Ever since, Mp began, i sleep by 11 and im awake by 730. I rush like anything jus to board bus no 15 on time so that i'll be able to clock in on time.When i reach home at 6 plus, im so tired to even do anything and i sleep early so that i can scrape thru the next day. This office hours regime is taking a toll on me. It's getting more and more difficult to wake up every day.I am the most happiest person on earth on Fridays, and im so sad on Sundays..bcz the next day is Monday. Mondays are the worst days of the week.
-our
love story ;
Saturday, April 18, 2009
So in less than 24 hours time, i'll be in CAMBODIA, Phnom Penh?, Pehn?, Kampong Speu, Hope village.I'll be back in action from the 26th onwards.
Ive got LOA, for the 27th.So i only need to go sch on tue, wed, thu & FRIDAY is PUBLIC HOLIDAY. I SO LOVE THE S'pore GOVT!
Sorry MP/SIP mates, i'll join u bth as soon as i can.
Sorry to u( latika) too, i know ive been such a difficult monkey to handle.
Im gna miss smsing, answering calls, staying up way too late, being online, facebooking, msning, watching tv
and i'll miss all of u too...
Take care peeps
-our
love story ;
