LIFE STORY, without you.

Friday, November 06, 2009

SCHOOL IS FUCKED UP, n becoz of that everything else is fucked up too.

It's a Friday.The time was 515pm and i was at my supervisor's office. We gave up trying our best to solder tiny wires onto tiny components better known as SMD (surface mount components). My supervisor received a call. He then told us to go back to the DU to get our bags and come back to meet him at his office.We rushed back to the du, becoz on Fridays they lock it up before 6pm. We came back to the DU, packed our bags hurriedly. I decided to bring back home a board to solder so that we could do testing for our anologue part in PEACE,( despite the freaking fact that we already soldered another board previously, spent hours troubleshooting it, the filter and the amplifiers were working fine aft hours of troubleshooting, but now it seems that programming can only be done on that freaking f-ed up board). Back to the du, i needed a paper bag so i jus grabbed sam's huge mooncake paper bag n threw in my pcb boards, components soldering iron, sponge, fluz, wick, solder, cutter, pliers, stripper, tweezer etc.... By then the time was 535pm, and i had to catch a movie with mum at 630pm. The net was working at a snail place and i din manage to complete my online movie booking.I told my group mates to go ahead n meet my supervisor w/o me. I then went off to TM, lugging the huge mooncake bag. And everytime i happen 2 accidentally peek into the contents of the bag, the farnell components envelope package grinned back at me in somewhat a evil way. My mum actually thot i really ran away from sch.BUT STILL IM SO FREAKING MAD ANGRY THAT THE BOARD I SPENT HOURS ON, WHERE THE ANALOG PARTS OF IT WERE WORKING AND NOW I CANNOT CONTINUE TO WORK ON IT, BUT have to solder a new board(= new problems and all).WTF LA SERIOUSLY WTF! WADS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD?IS GOD ARND N WATCHING ALL THESE. N TESTING MY PATIENCE?TO TOP IT OFF, THERE'S POLITICS TO HANDLE TOO.

AND AS IF THINGS WERENT BAD ENUFF, CHECK OUT WAD'S IN STORE FOR ME FOR THE WEEKEND...

1) Solder new board

2) Career comm report( intro + physical description + references)worth 10 marks

3) Study for advance electronics quiz

4) Start typing my hematology report

5) Think of more biostats qns for biostats proj

6) EPS poster design( as if ive completed my proj!!)

Im not sure if the movie plan on Sat was a good idea.

SCHOOL IS F-ED UP, AND BECOZ OF THAT LIFE SUCKS TOO.Jus cant wait for

4 EVERYTHING to end. Really..

AND AS FAR AS MP( WHICH IS WORTH 12 CREDIT UNITS) IS CONCERNED, IM PREPARED FOR THE WORSE. The path im going to take after my diploma...depends so much on my MP grade, my subjects grade for this semester. The tiny weeny hope tht i had, its flickering away...

And all of a sudden, i feel so empty, lonely, hopeless n lost..BIG TIME

-our love story ;

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Im dying...battling school every day is a disaster. Previously it used to be like, only a few weeks would be torturous and somehow we'll all pull through. But this time round, every day is like those few weeks. My energy is depleting bit by bit and sooner or later i wun b surprised if i collapsed.At times i feel like crying out loud, but i dun because i know its not going to help much.

It's multi tasking at advanced stage, handling MP and my 3.2 subjects and the avalanche of assignments that come along with it like free gifts.

Everyone knows how much i love to eat, but sad to say ive reach a stage where im so scared to eat, because the food i eat jus doesnt get digested and i keep vomiting everything out. So basically i have not eaten any proper food since monday. Due to that even the simplest of task, seem to be very daunting for me.

The 5 stages of grieving;

1) Denial

2) Anger

3) Bargaining

4) Depression

5) Acceptance

Im at stage 5 now.=)

And as for him, he's happy after so long and that's what should matter.

-our love story ;

Friday, September 25, 2009

Oh Man, ther's always so many things i want to write, but my laziness catches up with me each time i intend to do so. I really think i need to have a notebook with me anytime..anywhere.

So Guess...whu's in town...!!!!One of my idols, Lewis Hamilton .....is in town. He's 24( my fav no btw) this year and his bdae falls on 7th of January, which means he is a Capricorn..woo hoo, no wonder he is so humble. But he mentioned that he grew up with labels such as HUGO Boss and Tag Heugher which pretty much accounts for his stylish suits and watches.I love him and i always will no matter what, even if he loses the Grand Prix this season. There's always the next season right!!! And to the bitch who mentioned that Lewis Hamilton needs a face enhancement just because she likes guys with sharp noses, hmm, it just goes to show that you are only liking the person because of his appearance. But i dont blame you, because amongst us there are many of us who also do the same.

School sucks. My semester break is about to end in a few weeks time, and im not done with my major project yet. This was kinda of an expected outcome, but i just dont know how i am going to handle so many things at a time, next semester. I cant wait to graduate, just 1 more semester baby, and GOODBYE to Tp.Not saying this because i din have a good time at tp or what, its just that i cant wait to work and then go on to start my uni education( if i get through that is).I just need to get there and i'll be fine.Till then everything else like love can definitely wait.

And to you, my special close friend,

I really missed you a lot over the past few months. Sometimes there were so many things i wanted to talk to you about, discuss and seek your advice because i know you wont judge me and i could just tell everything to you, but i felt like we werent that close anymore, untill the recent outings.So i hope everything is changed for the better and it will remain this way even if the world ends tmr. Muacks i Love You. PS : Could we have a girls only outing sometime soon.

Talking about love,,,well for now ive got nothing to hold on to, because i planned to let go of whatever that i was holding on to. So currently im floating around aimlessly just like an jellyfish. I dont have any major qualms about it yet for now.So off you go, floating like a paper boat by the river with a string attached.

The more and more i try to erase you, the more and more you keep appearing, is it a sign?

In approximately 5hr and 49 mins, the season premiere of greys anatomy will b done downloading and im going to watch it wee...Season 3 of Gossip Girls has begun..too.

AND YOU. MY DEAR WEEKDAY GETAWAY PARTNER. Im so disappointed with and was very mad at you that day. What was the attitude for over the ph dude. If you are busy having a steamboat dinner, do tell me so, atleast i would have called back the next day or so to continue with the conversation. But i am not the type of person who only calls up someone whom im in trouble.I am someone who like to still keep contact with my friends even if im dying, having a semester break, attached and etc.If despite of the above mentioned i still don really contact you unless there is a need to do so, perharps it could be due to the fact that YOU go MIA during weekends or semester breaks in the name of spending more time with loved ones, or that YOU dun really contact me as well or that YOU dun really reciprocate as expected when i contact you.It occurs to me that you have this impression that i only call you when im in distress and i wonder how often im usually in that state.So MR BUSY BUISNESSMAN, are you free this coming Sunday to attend our fellow friend's open house?, esp when she only invited her closest friends....

Being in a relationship changes someone, for the better or for the worse,,only time can tell

( No offence)

Out of the many available definitions for the word memory, i choose to quote this one;

a person, thing, event, fact, etc., remembered. .Personally i feel that a memory is entwined with feelings.That particular event became a memory just not like that, but maybe because it touched your heart. So in the end, how can a memory just stand alone without the feelings involved, even if it's for a non living thing. The past is not something all of us can wipe out so easily and completely out of our mind unless we go through a memory failure . And to justify the moving on phase, based on how much of the memories we have retained seems unfair to me.It really beats the hell out of me as in ..how can someone forget their exes and not even have the slightest of feelings for them. If that happens smoothly, i would like question if you guys were really in love with each other in the first place.

Take Me Away, a secret place,
A sweet escape, take me away,
Take Me Away, to better days
Take Me away, a hiding place

-our love story ;

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Crushed
Screwed Up
Fucked UP
Lacking Confidence
Freaking Low
Lifeless
Exhausted
Demoralised

-our love story ;

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Your horoscope for September 4, 2009

It is important to confront your troubles head on, priyalatha, but not at the expense of living your life. An important person in your life, the one who acted as your "touchstone," no longer figures prominently. This is a difficult adjustment for you, to be sure. Make an extra effort not to turn inward, as is your tendency to do in times of trouble. Force yourself to socialize and you may find a new friend and confidante.

I guess its one of those days where ur horoscope matches perfectly

-our love story ;

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Hmm.I took the day off, as i was down with a flu and fever. It seems to me that my major project is being embarked on by only 2 group members, namely me and Sam.Now im beginning to regret my decision of recruiting the 3rd member. Just maybe i should have chosen a Bio based project.I have to admit that i havent been putting in much effort lately with regards to my project.

Ive started watching True Blood.I would have appreciated it better if only the hero and heroine were better looking. It's ok i can make do with whatever that is available.
___________________________________

Okay im freaking exhausted today. Mr chua FINALLY returned today after a 5 week long absence. His "comeback" made us all very exhausted. I was so freaking nervous on my way to school itself.Just 2 hours into the day and i had finished drinking more than half the water in my water bottle.And i nearly hugged my fren aka "WGP" becoz i was like so relieved to see him..no qualms abt tht..wink wink. I really felt like hiding under the table...when i saw Mr Chua. He is the onlt tp tchr that im so scared of.But he's cute okie...im so proud that he's my boss. He spent about 2 hours and 45 mins troubleshooting my board. How geekingly cute can that get. I hate it when im left alone with him, becoz ther is this inevitable silence.I did miss him a lot and im so so glad tht he's back, atleast i dun feel like a hor fun..oops sorry i mean orphan animore. But his presence itself creates this very mentally intense exhausting feel...n i gt this feeling his brain works like a microcontroller.He has excellent fingers that dance during troubleshooting and wrists tht cracks every now n then while handling the mouse.

Accompanied Emm to do threading aft school. Then took 291 n alighted near 201, n took 59 back home. When i was under my block, i chanced upon daddy, daddy love was on his way to go for Nite shift, then i accompanied to his bus stop n waited till 8pm with him till his bus came. I know..i know im sweet..Thanks for the compliments!

There is cold war going on, and it just shows how childish and immature people can get at times.But it's ok, its thru experiences like these, we gain enlightenment abt ppls behaviour.

Sometimes i jus put in so much of effort into doing things for people and i cant understand why, especially when its not worth at all.

About ppl being materialistic,

It's not like he/she an shopaholic.
it's not like he/she's obsessed
But just buying that thing gives him/her a subtle, proud sense of ownership.

Dont get me wrong.Sometimes you cant be yourself with everyone. Atleast i know i can be myself and still have a good time, even if it's just a short conversation or a laugh over a stupid joke; with you around. In case you are wondering who you are...i met ya on Tue..i think haha.Atleast i know you aint fake.

Wanting to be like this..like that..do this do that is one thing, but how much do you want to push yourself to do what you want to do is another. because it makes a hell lot of difference.

I feel so alien like, when people who havent spoken to me in ages or do not know what's happening in my life try to get in2 contact with me suddenly. It's awkward...jus lettin u know.

I think the unexpected change was good.It was like a good makeover marking a new beginning. Besides that having it reminds me of you, because only i know how much you wanted it as well.

It's pointless to blatantly mutter "i'll change" but not do anything about it.

I miss Buskin Robbin's Butter Pecan ice cream.

thanks for the support, you guys mean a lot to me..and you know who you all are...

I HATE PEOPLE WHU R RACIST...

There is a clear threshold limit that i possess and if u exceed that...

-our love story ;

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I din realise until lately that my blog page has this glittering effect. Damn cool la.

Was dying to watch "The Proposal" when emm mentioned that its out, but the limited timings kinda suck, so i shall contain the excitement till next week. I need to enjoy, sleep, slack, Etc all i can and as much as i can untill the 25th. Coz the "u know whu" is cuming back on the 25th. I can imagine in what state i'll be in after he comes back and he is going to turn a slow ride into an unforgettable roller coaster ride. I wished my project can end next week, but given its present state the truth is, it wun end during this mp/sip period, which means my project work will have to continue throught the usual 7 week semester break and into the next semester. So when the next semester begins(in abt few weeks time), it'll be an ultimate showdown between my elective subjects( claimed to very diff) and my major project. We'll see if i can survive.LOL!

Frankly speaking, im not in the least surprised at how our friendship has become. Because i knew this would happen.I cant help but to admit that things have changed.It's not your fault and im not blaming anyone. I've never wanted to say this but ...i dont know why it feels like ive lost 2 very close/special friends of mine.It just doesnt feel the same anymore and i know deep down there's nothing can be done. That's why ive changed, by choosing to avoid things; im actually not that busy.Im happy that youve found the love of ur life, i know you did go thru just so much to reach this stage. So here's me wishing u all the best, atleast now i know you are in safe hands.

I dun only miss you, but i miss all of us the way we were. I had one of my best nights, best laughs, in fact the bestest time spent with friends was when i was with u guys only. (family nt included).Ive never spent so much time out with anyone else or even been able to talk about anything under the sun so freely. I could put up with a monkey complaining about how his butt is getting hot because of sitting in that particular place. I could skip studying for semestral exams during the study break and jus spent time with you guys, because at the end of it all, i know everythong would turn out fine. You would be the first person i'll msg when i get my results and my heart will only stop beating so fast after i get ur reply msg praising me, even if ive gt an ugly C grade, staring back at me I could eat a mcspicy burger till the salad n the mayo drip and i know no1 would say anything. I could crave for an ice cream in the middle of nowhere and i know the guys will go get it somehow. I could ask for drink during an soccer match because i know the guys will go all out to get it for us, even though they have to miss the match and queue and struggle through the crowds. I could ask for satay even if a detour had to be made.I could smile away when i reached singapore on the 26th april to hear that i jus missed my friends when they were quite near actually waiting for me.I just could be myself.

Now for the better or worse, ive changed espmy views on friendships has changed drastically. Im cold, bitchy, rude, pmsing 24/7.

Hey dude, you go missing and then you come back, and then you go missing and you come back n surprise me suddenly, only to disappoint me in the end.This is not helping me in any way to forget everything and move on. Just who are you? and what are you?Tell me please.

And this song goes out to u, them, and everyone else.

Artist: Ronin

Song: One more moment

Don't take too long to say

I love you to the ones you love
Cause time has a habit of slipping away

And out on the clear blue sky
When lightning strikes on a sunny day
Just take me in and keep me from the rain

And the words that seem so hard to say
Come out when you've gone away
Just stay a little while and hear me say

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment with you

Turn away to say goodbye
With each and every word that passes by
Like a distant memory

And time keeps slipping away
And time will turn to grey
And time will be the one who holds you down

And the words that seem so hard to say
Come out when you've gone away
Just stay a little while and hear me say

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment with you

Sometimes time will treat you bad
Before you even know what's wrong
And in the end it hits you hard
Please tell me you'll be strong

-our love story ;